On rare occasion, my with drawl from my daily posts are not due to depression. Instead, i go into this weird… i dont know, study period. Usually a history research project or genealogy research that has been going on for the past 19 years. Sometimes it is because i have become obsessed with a musician (Ellie Goulding for example right now) and have to see every posted live performance until i have tired and worn it out of my mind. Sometimes it is due to socio-political issues going on in San Francisco… regardless to what it may be (today it was near-curent SF fires), i can not seem to get a focus on a specific point that i want to convey to the world. These days, i feel it is better (although dont get me wrong! I feel that guilt! I should be posting every single day.) if i do not post drivel for a few days and instead see what this research dive leads to. Sometimes it gives me immediate material for a relevant post. Sometimes, it just sits in the back of my brain, waiting for the punctuation or punch line or whatever (i do not actually know… that is what the waiting is all about).
I used to post every day in the begining, but not have huge investment in what i was posting. If i came across it and i found it cool or pretty or neato that minute, i would post it. This was about the first two months. You would get a few writings from me but majority was neat stuff or kinda interesting things that had nothing to do with anything.
One thing i decided early on though was, I did not want this blog to just be a product pushing site. I decided shortly after starting it that i needed to figure out what this blog was all about. What i wanted to tell the world. Who i wanted telling the world what. It was decided by me that i wanted the majority (2/3 -3/4) be fully original written content (written by me) about what ever i may happen to want to talk about. The other portion would be neat things that i feel that is cool enough or unique or funny enough to be passed on and re-blogs. This way, i am much more discriminating towards the things that i pass on and take more time to have a voice of my own.
So dear readers, First off, let me just say thank you. I dont need an audience to voice my own thoughts (i do it all the time in my room or walking along, but people usually interpret it as crazy!) but it sure is more satisfying to know that what you are talking about others are listening to too and maybe even commenting on! It makes it so cool to have strangers from all over the globe (Katiekins in Scotland, John the Aussie etc) getting in on a conversation that is happening strictly due to the fact that all of us have an interest on talking about this or that.
It sometimes boggles my mind to know that more people hear me that are scattered around the world and that i have never actually met, than probably my family and friends! (at least through the blog). (i keep telling them to read it, and they say ok, but i doubt they remember or know how AWESOME my blog is that they are missing!) Or maybe they dont realize that this is “me to the world”. 100% me to the world. No product placements (if i ever get popular enough to get adds at the side to actually pay me, i am taking it!) but i wont be pushing this or that. I wont be saying what every designer of every new thing is. I wont be posting (many!) of those stupid sayings that are cool but everywhere and dont need to be preaching to my readers about. What it will be is curent and hopefully funny sometimes and hopefully real all the time.
I am approaching my 1 year anniversary blog in November and since i started this last year, i have developed a really awesome audience that i feel is more like a group than an audience with me as just one of the people in it. You all give me so much feedback and time commenting on your thoughts. I think that is just so fucking AWESOME!! You all are my first followers and that is a really special thing to me. You will always be the ones to say, “i have been following that blog before she had 100 followers!”. And that is kinda cool. It is kinda cool to have my first group… the originals!… as my fellow conversationalists.
I will do my anniversary blog on the anniversary, but i am just going to say now (and again probably in the anniversary blog!) that all of you have really made this year special for me. This blog is the thing that i feel most proud of this year. It has been so rewarding to me (thanks to you!) that i can see myself continuing on on this journey for a long time to come….
So… if you dont hear from me for a few days, i am not gone forever. You have made that impossible for me to want to do! Just know, the wait should be worth it. At least i am not just adding bs filler to cover my ass!
(ps.. dont mind the mess along side of the bed! 🙂