The funniest thing I have seen all day!

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The funniest thing I have seen all day!

…This is….

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I stumbled across this clever art series showcasing “urban architecture gone terribly wrong”

Thank you to Architizer website for allowing me to share their article!

In quite possibly the best illustration of “accidents waiting to happen” ever, German artist Robert Rickhoff has created a new photo series that questions public space in a humorous—and sometimes disturbing—way. See more!

 

Titled “Out of Place,” Rickhoff’s series underscores the importance of architecture and urban planning by presenting impractical and dangerous situations, such as a playground slide facing a road or a speed bump in a railroad track. Don’t worry: these are not real-life scenes (although that certainly would make the images more compelling). Rickhoff digitally manipulates photos from various urban and suburban locales.

At first glance, many of the photos appear to be rather banal. It’s only upon closer inspection that viewers realize something is amiss. Whether they suggest skateboarding in the street or playing volleyball in the center of the Autobahn, Rickhoff’s images depict how idiotic urban design could actually be. We only hope these scenarios don’t actually exist somewhere on this crazy planet!

Images courtesy of Robert Rickhoff

[via designboom]

I saw some interesting things a couple days ago on my daily hike on Bernal Hill… and it was oh so Bernal….

On my walk a couple days ago, i decided to go early (9:00am ish) unstead of later (4-6ish).  It was a very different scene up there in the morning.  I saw a lot of ladies. most of them with dogs a few with babies.  But even more that the female race, i saw so much wildlife!  As well as some things that are just oh so Bernal!  I hope you enjoy!

The morning light reflecting off of the bay looking south east from Bernal.

One of my favorite Bernal monuments… This rock is always being “artified” with a purpose! This time… in support of gay marriage!

Close up reading “My hand, Is there, Holding yours.” supporting gay marriage.

Secret (not so considering one of them is wearing reflective cal-trans style vest and they all had clip boards!) meeting on Bernal Hill.

 

 

Now, you’re gonna love this one. This is clearly covering some overnight graffiti, the unusual thing, the buffers (ones that paint it all out) left a note and taped it to the ground! (so artistic too with the dog poop on the left corner!)

 

Just gotta love the “Wet Paint, by Buff King” sign taped to the pavement… but wait…. this is not the only one!

Here is more of Mr. “Buff King’s” handy work… you are gonna love this one… just check out the “buffing paint job” the king employed here…

 

Now, that is one heck of a buffing! Nice paint job(s?)! I wonder which part of this is actually the wet paint painted by the Buff King? Seems like maybe he needed more paint! haha!

 

Sad that this big tree had become rotted and had to be cut down. I think because of that, these little finches were all in turmoil… And all over the place. Clears up a photo op view tho!

Here are those poor traumatized finches in flight. This was only a small number of them but you get the idea.

 

usually i do not do my hiking early in the AM, but i was surprised how much wild life i saw out in the mornings. I love these little birds!

I do think i like the haze of the other hikers/joggers/walkers/dog walkers in the late afternoon with that somewhat glazed look over tdheir faces as they pass in loops.  So much more is on your mind at the end of the day than at the begining of the day.  I did not get half as friendly of a hello or a smile while passing the AM crowd compared to the PM crowd.  I think that the AMers are used to their crowd being the ones up there and are leary of anyone new they may pass on the trail.  Or, they were just living in the my shit dont stink and yours does mentality.  Regardless, i loved all of the quirky things that i ran across in this am walk, but i think i will most likely be sticking to my busier afternoon crowd personally.  I am not going to be acquiring a dog or a baby any time soon, so i will most likely be given the eye of tresspass again if i do the AM walk.

Who knows, maybe it was just this one day.  I better not judge an entire time period on one day.  …We will have to try again and see if this is the norm or i just caught a bunch of snobby fridged females on this walk.

 

 

 

 

I haven’t posted for almost a week… I haven’t forgotten you!

On rare occasion, my with drawl from my daily posts are not due to depression.  Instead, i go into this weird… i dont know, study period.  Usually a history research project or genealogy research that has been going on for the past 19 years.  Sometimes it is because i have become obsessed with a musician (Ellie Goulding for example right now) and have to see every posted live performance until i have tired and worn it out of my mind.  Sometimes it is due to socio-political issues going on in San Francisco… regardless to what it may be (today it was near-curent SF fires), i can not seem to get a focus on a specific point that i want to convey to the world.  These days, i feel it is better (although dont get me wrong!  I feel that guilt!  I should be posting every single day.) if i do not post drivel for a few days and instead see what this research dive leads to.  Sometimes it gives me immediate material for a relevant post.  Sometimes, it just sits in the back of my brain, waiting for the punctuation or punch line or whatever (i do not actually know… that is what the waiting is all about).

Lights (Ellie Goulding album)

Lights (Ellie Goulding album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I used to post every day in the begining,  but not have huge investment in what i was posting.  If i came across it and i found it cool or pretty or neato that minute, i would post it.  This was about the first two months.  You would get a few writings from me but majority was neat stuff or kinda interesting things that had nothing to do with anything.

One thing i decided early on though was,   I did not want this blog to just be a product pushing site.  I decided shortly after starting it that i needed to figure out what this blog was all about.  What i wanted to tell the world.  Who i wanted telling the world what.  It was decided by me that i wanted the majority (2/3 -3/4) be fully original written content (written by me) about what ever i may happen to want to talk about.  The other portion would be neat things that i feel that is cool enough or unique or funny enough to be passed on and re-blogs.  This way, i am much more discriminating towards the things that i pass on and take more time to have a voice of my own.

So dear readers, First off, let me just say thank you.  I dont need an audience to voice my own thoughts (i do it all the time in my room or walking along, but people usually interpret it as crazy!) but it sure is more satisfying to know that what you are talking about others are listening to too and maybe even commenting on!  It makes it so cool to have strangers from all over the globe (Katiekins in Scotland, John the Aussie etc) getting in on a conversation that is happening strictly due to the fact that all of us have an interest on talking about this or that.

It sometimes boggles my mind to know that more people hear me that are scattered around the world and that i have never actually met, than probably my family and friends! (at least through the blog). (i keep telling them to read it, and they say ok, but i doubt they remember or know how AWESOME my blog is that they are missing!)  Or maybe they dont realize that this is “me to the world”.  100% me to the world.  No product placements (if i ever get popular enough to get adds at the side to actually pay me, i am taking it!) but i wont be pushing this or that.  I wont be saying what every designer of every new thing is.  I wont be posting (many!) of those stupid sayings that are cool but everywhere and dont need to be preaching to my readers about.  What it will be is curent and hopefully funny sometimes and hopefully real all the time.

I am approaching my 1 year anniversary blog in November and since i started this last year, i have developed a really awesome audience that i feel is more like a group than an audience with me as just one of the people in it.  You all give me so much feedback and time commenting on your thoughts.  I think that is just so fucking AWESOME!!  You all are my first followers and that is a really special thing to me.  You will always be the ones to say, “i have been following that blog before she had 100 followers!”.  And that is kinda cool.  It is kinda cool to have my first group… the originals!… as my fellow conversationalists.

I will do my anniversary blog on the anniversary, but i am just going to say now (and again probably in the anniversary blog!) that all of you have really made this year special for me.  This blog is the thing that i feel most proud of this year.  It has been so rewarding to me (thanks to you!) that i can see myself continuing on on this journey for a long time to come….

So… if you dont hear from me for a few days, i am not gone forever.  You have made that impossible for me to want to do!  Just know, the wait should be worth it.  At least i am not just adding bs filler to cover my ass!

🙂

Emelie and Arthur! 2012

(ps.. dont mind the mess along side of the bed! 🙂

There, I fixed it! Motorcycle win on the 505 south in calif.

https://fbcdn-video-a.akamaihd.net/cfs-ak-ash4/v/593723/890/10150954640613492_31293.mp4?oh=7fed1beec52ddb133950a7e214395319&oe=4FFBAA20&__gda__=1341893152_6a5de5351bebd427b593c641372c2b02

These are great! Really clever photos from German ad campaign. I think you will like these!

This is one of the most creative methods of advertising I’ve ever seen. Jobs and lead creative advertising itself together.

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If you haven’t seen this video… You should! P.S. Watch the drummer!

Video

I was shown this lil video last year by my now x-boyfriend. So, i did get something out of it! Just kidding. I wish him the best.

Anyway, this video is HILARIOUS!! The guys name is actually Steve Moore known as The Mad Drummer.

I crack up every single time i watch that video, but, in all fairness, this guy is Really Good!

And to prove it, here is a video without the awful ensemble!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA9IP1JCyf4

My really Really bad day… part 2.

So, so far today, things have seemed to have reversed back to the hopefully smooth with good planning day with a little bit of smooth working luck.  A far cry from yesterday!

My day ended after a visit to my local dispensary (which i truly think is the one main thing apart from it being a beautiful and fairly warm non windy / foggy day that allowed me to get through it).  After sitting down for a few minutes and watching the Celtics vs. Miami game in the first quarter.  After chitchating about how tough it has got to be for all of the big basketball sized guys who were not born with gazelle like coordination with the guy that worked there, i left.  (I had a roommate like this who was 6’6″ and wore a size 16 shoe but had absolutely no coordination.  Poor guy!).

Anyway, i proceed to Big Lots where i quickly gobble up the items i needed (which happened to be things like laundry detergent and dish soap and condiments and bread mix etc.  Not light things.)  I decided that i would shop heavy and take the bus up to the top of the hill.  I threw my back out the day before and re-injured it that morning and was not taking any chances ascending 400 feet in less than 3 blocks with 4 heavy bags.

I was not in a hurry and knew that patience on a day this that was going to be the only thing that will allow me to get through it unscathed.  I walk out of Big Lots and check my Routsey app to see when the next MUNI was expected.  It said 22 minutes.

22 minutes eeh.  I have to walk a block and a half to the bus stop which would take about as long in minutes and then i got a good 19+ minutes to enjoy the sunset.

The bus stop is in front of the gas station on 30th and Mission, opposite the Walgreens. When the gas station changed hands about a year ago, a 7-11 went in.  This is a fantastic thing to come into this part of town.. Slurpees and good coffee and cheap(ish) cigarettes… a good combo!

I decided that this would be a perfect time to get myself a cup of coffee or hot chocolate for my nice late afternoon break/bus wait.  I set down my bags and proceed to make myself the most perfect afternoon cup of hot chocolate coffee!  It had it all!  1/2 & 1/2 a mocha creamer and a white chocolate creamer, a little sugar and 4 packets of non dairy creamer along with a good 2/3 colombian roast!  It looked to be the perfect dessert cup of afternoon coffee!  I paid and went to the bus stop.  There is a concrete shelf/wall/bench that holds the plantings in behind the bus stop that makes for a perfect little squat while waiting for the 24.  

Without ever taking a sip of the coffee, I go on knock it to the ground where it showered my foot and the right lower half of my body as well as the sidewalk.  I never got a taste.  I started to laugh.  I should have known.  It was visibly apparent that this was just another event in my highly jinxed day.  That was the prelude to the final injustice.  The 6 block MUNI experience (i can not bring myself to call it a ride.  It was so much more!  It only took about an hour and 10 minutes or so to get there.  Let me tell you.

note the flip flop

Ok.  sitting there with my spilled coffee and incredibly stick shoe and my bags of stuff.  I start talking with a couple of other locals about the egregious rental inflations and gentrification of the city which was good and bonding.  We needed this to maintain our victimized insanity that would soon unfold.

some of the cool locals in this MUNI mess with me.  and below, my bags remained unscathed!  Yea!

Ok.  Bus #1… The 22 minute bus.  I had been waiting for 22 minutes at about 5:45pm so needless to say, there were quite a few of us getting on.  It is also a big unboarding stop for the 24.  It is the last stop before it goes up and over Bernal to the Bayview so people who live east board, people who have come from Divisadero & Castro street usually most of them unboard here.  After awaiting the bus to unload, we start to board.  We get about 1/2 boarded and the driver tells us to unboard because he is taking that bus offline.  Another bus will be there soon.  He didnt know how long.

I descend the steps of the bus and in doing so, proceed to pull apart my flipflop at the toe.  Lucky for me though it was so sticky that it stuck to my goddamn foot and i made it back to the concrete bench.

I look on my Routsey app again and it says 5 min. and 6 min. are the next busses to be arriving.  I looked at that 6 min. bus but got once again caught up in conversation so when the 5 min. bus arrived, i got on it.

A wheel chair boarded and while this was happening, the 6 minute bus blazes around us.  I dont even know if he stopped at that stop.  I knew i should have tried to get on that bus!  So now the #3 bus was in position #2.  #1 was heading back to the barn.

We get the wheel chair guy boarded and proceed to wait.  And wait.  We probably were loaded onto the bus waiting for at least 8 stop light rotations.  A LONG time.  Finally the bus doors close and we wait about another minute and FINALLY finally turn the corner from 30th onto Mission.

We only go one block and turn left onto Cortland st… or so it was expected to.  We turn the corner and get maybe 2 bldgs. past the gas station and there is BUS #1 STOPPED ON THE SIDE!!  We couldnt believe it.  We pull up behind the first bus instead of getting into the left lane to turn left.

After a few seconds of talk between the drivers, we are informed that we must unboard and go across the street and wait at the stop at the corner of Cortland for the next bus.

If you want to see or hear a group of unhappy riders, i got a front row seat.  Me being one of them too, but, knowing how cursed i was doomed to be before the day even started, I felt almost responsible for all of these people being within the destructive radius of my jinxed luck of the day.  It must have been my doing!  It just doesnt take an hour and 4 busses to make it 8 blocks these days with MUNI. (in the 1990’s especially the early part, this would not have been too unusual).

Finally about 8 minutes and the 4th bus arrived and safely carried up the big ass hill to my final assend to my home.

I made it home finally and just started cracking up.  It was so bad of a day that it was humorous.  But just the little stupid things.  The big stressful things that went wrong got sorted out well.  It took a long time but things went better than expected when it comes to the shit that could have unraveled my life in the span of an afternoon.  It was this that was being worked on and could have gone either way.  I got really Really lucky!

Probably because of this, i took all the hilarious fails with a breath and patience and made it home FINALLY in one whole piece!  What a day!

I think today was doomed before it started. Let me just tell you…. Part 1.

I didn’t stand a chance today.  What a pain in the ass!  It started with my crazy little cat chasing flies or just going crazy and knocking over an open bottle and another glass onto my bed getting the covers soaking wet.

Then i proceded to go to the bathroom to find the toilet clogged.

I then proceeded to attempt to get online to no avail.  An hour and a half of unplugging and replugging and restarting.  Finally i called them and it turns out i need to pay them!  Go figure!

Which leads me to money.  I receive a direct deposit on the 1st every month and guess what… Today… not in account.

Which then proceeded to totally reconfigure my entire day.  Spent it on the phone for a couple of hours (at least 1/3 on hold) and in the office for over 3 hours.  About an hour and a half on bus riding not counting the MUNI comical nightmare that awaited me shortly.

I am so tired from this day, i am going to finish the other half of “how my bad day was so bad that it was starting to get funny to me”, tomorrow morning.  It will be cleaner and more witty if i finish after a little sleep.  So… stay tuned.  Part 2 will NOT disappoint i promise!  AND it will contain some of the photos of my misadventure.

I am hoping that when i wake up and finish up sharing with you my cosmic curse, i really hope it was like a 24 hour bug and it is not another Groundhog Day!

To be continued….

Another bizarre bit of San Francisco PSA: Traffic edition. Enjoy!

Video

Whoever thought up this idea for this commercial giving SF Bay’ers a heads up about some bridge construction traffic changes. I think the board that approved this add may be as kooky as the bunch pitching it! But, still, i like it in a strange way….

San Francisco’s best holiday… Bay to Breakers!

Today is the day when Halloween comes to San Francisco in May.  It is my still favorite holiday here in SF.  Partly because for almost 15 years the panhandle was my hood and one can not avoid B2B if living by the park.  It is/was also the one thing that until 2 years ago (the 100th bay to breakers they seriously tightened up the rules so that there could be no liquor or kegs, no nudity and i believe no floats. Boooo!!)  Regardless, it might be because a serious party starts at 7am, or that it is only us that are having a full on costumed holliday on a day in the middle of May, or maybe because it is a SF tradition that paraded itself through my neighborhood and i got front row tickets and the free afterparty to go to.  But I LOVE Bay 2 Breakers!!  Here is to you B2B!!

b2b

1980's b2b

Follow below link to see whole slideshow…

Best of Bay to Breakers.

the debate continues… Camel toe or Moose knuckle?

The Camel toe strikes again!

The dreaded camel toe!

 

This is really funny here this topic because it has been a running joke between myself and one of my former roommates/ current friends.

It has always been to my understanding that a WOMAN wears the camel toe.

The MAN wears the moose knuckle.

However… I have heard the term moose knuckle a lot lately.  Often to describe a women’s camel toe.  I believe that they are just missing the mark with their attempts to be hip to the slang… but others think differently.

For instance, Reader x says…

“Then again, there is this thought on the topic from another reader… “As a woman, I always thought cam toe was part of the reason for wearing tight pants. Just like cleavage is part of the reason for wearing a low-cut top.”

NO! NO!  ALL WRONG LADY!

Another reader (we shall call him reader Y) shares with us…

“I’ve seen some toe that looked more like a knuckle personally. There was one time I think I almost went blind from it and told my friend that’s not a cam toe, it’s the whole damn foot!”

hahaha.  That is a good one reader Y!  f-u-n-n-y!

Now to all the ladies out there.  Since this is my forum to host, i am going to start and give a tiny piece of my own advice to you.

The camel toe should be avoided at all times.  And… Ladies, be a pal ok?  Let that friend that may be unaware that they are showing off their labia in silhouette.  They may be totally unaware!

It is just like how no body wants to see a dude in high cut mens short jogging shorts from the 80”s with no underwear, jog past you, as he blinds you with the blaring whiteness of a nut that flys up when he steps down with his left foot!  Same thing,  Leave a little mystery ladies!

Otherwise we all may go prematurely blind!

The only thing i can come to think of as a compromise is maybe a moose toe… If it is really that bad… I like camel foot better tho.

Hahaha.  Tell me what you think.  Is it a body is beautiful thing or is it a Hell No! issue for you?  Join in on the debate!

The Moose Knuckle

Moose Knuckle 2

 

 

*note.  This is an unusually raunchy topic for my blog i know, but this is a real issue! And it  needs to be discussed and clarified 😉

I found this in…

Aside

I found this in 2008.  It was elevated to status of “Best of Craigslist”.  I got together with my old roommate this week and he reminded me of it.  The computer i had it on, got stolen, so i had him re-send it to me so i can share it with you.  It is seriously one of the funniest things i have EVER read.  It NEVER gets old!  AND it is so ‘right on target’!  I hope you all enjoy a good chuckle like i am just posting it for you.  I wish i knew who this guy was.  I would find him and marry him!  Haha.

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Coffee C*nt @ Royal Grounds

Reply to: 
Date: 2007-05-08, 3:01PM 

You came into Royal Grounds, Russian Hill 
You are the 30ish, 5’5″, 120#, “Blonde” girl with the spackled foundation and knock-off bronze-metallic Prada bag. You were on your cell, blabbing with an artificial “Laguna Beach” accent and blissfully absorbing the “attention” of everyone else in the joint. You’ve been in line for about eight minutes. 
I’d like to inform you of a few things: 
1. We are not staring at you because you are hot or cool, or interesting. We (read: everyone else in the joint) are trying make you burst into flames by focusing our searing hatred toward your shellacked mary-jane wedges. Believe me, most of us could care less about your insipid desperation to appear cool. We care much more about you leaving. Now. 
2. Royal Grounds does not serve “venti latte’s”. You’ve gotten all dizzy and come to the wrong place. You’re looking for McDonald’s, or Jenny Craig, or Fresh Choice. Stupid twat.
3. Make a decision before you get to the front of the line, bitch. I know… you’ve got low blood sugar so its haaaaard to decide, but settling on a fat-free muffin and a low-fat latte shouldn’t take one hundred twelve seconds at the counter. Especially since you’ve been in line for eight minutes saying, “I knoooow. Ohmigod, I KNOOOWWWW! Really? I know…”. Its not like you’ve been on hold with Comcast. You’re in line for coffee at 7:55am. Die. Now. Or at least spontaneously bleed or do something interesting and painful like a seizure. 
4. Leave a freaking tip. That little jar isn’t there to TAKE CHANGE FROM. If you need change for the bus, simply ASK the nice gal behind the counter. Don’t dig around in her tip jar for quarters while drawling about losing your Muni Pass to your feeble-minded phone-mate. We all know you lost your Muni Pass along with the tattered remnants of your shriveled dignity at the Royal Joke last night at 1:12am. It is just at the end of Bonita Street under that pile of wadded Kleenex. You know, near where you woke up, skank. 
5. Get your fucking bag off my table! Damn, now you’ve done it. You’ve taken me from focused disgust to personal rage. Just because I’m seated at the table next to the no-calorie sweeteners doesn’t mean I want your greasy, cum-stained whore-sack on my paper; nudging my coffee and getting dangerously close to contaminating my bagel. Not even an “excuse me” or a “do you mind/”. In fact, I might have let it pass with simple hatred had you bothered to engage some semblance of decency. But, there you go, no concern for my space or belongings. 
6. It was not an accident that my coffee “fell” onto your feet while you were adding the Spleda to your beverage. I purposely removed the lid. I carefully planned knocking it “just so” in hopes of getting at least one of your feet covered in scalding bean juice. Did that burn a little? Don’t worry about the shoes. Pleather cleans up nicely. The sugar should get nice and sticky soon. Kind of like your thighs and tits felt before you used a handi-wipe on them this morning when you came to. 
7. It was funny to watch you drop your phone into the bus-tray, prance on your little feet, and protest with “Ohmigod! Ohmigod!” while everyone else took delight in your suffering. Did you believe me to be sincere when I said, “Oh, wow. That must hurt.” Notice how I didn’t apologize? Of course you didn’t. 
8. Yes, I purposely chose that moment to get up and leave. I definitely meant to bump you ever so slightly with the table and knock your bag to the floor with my laptop and paper. I admit it: I wanted to cause you as much inconvenience as possible without actually breaking any laws. 
9. The people behind you in line were purposefully rude in pushing around you to get lids, sugar, cream and stuff. They grinned when they observed my work. They wryly smiled. They hate you as much as I do. Probably as much as your mother did when she dropped you off at the orphanage. 
10. Even though I had significantly slowed the pace of everyone’s day, there wasn’t a bit of anger directed at me. Rather, there was joy, gratefulness, even one woman who mouthed, “Awesome”. You are disgusting and unwelcome. Move away. Get crippled. Go blind. Just leave. 

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 

Awesome roller skating commercial! Takes me back to my kid years!

Video

This commercial for Roller Kingdom in Reno is so funny! I used to competitively roller skated my whole child hood (think singles ice skating but with quad skates. It was NOT EASY!) I think how strong my ankles were back when i was 10. Strong enough to get me off the ground and around 1 or 2 revolutions!

X Factor audition of Ant & Seb

Video

The funniest audition ever EVER!! I have wanted to post this for a long LONG time.. It never gets tired or old…. Always makes me laugh a lot!!
I hope you enjoy it too!

This bathroom was just too funny to pass up sharing it with you!

We have this cute little shop down on Cortland St. that is a used kids clothing store.  In the very back of one side (they are in side by side storefronts that make up the store), they sell used womens clothes.   I love shopping in this secret little gem of ours but i never try anything on.  It is so cheap i just figure if it doesnt fit right i will just donate it back.

Anyway, one day i decided i had to see if these pants fit.  They were with stretch and i did not know if they would make it all the way around.  When i went into the bathroom, this is what i saw…

…With hand sanitizer and money for our tip jar!

 

Note.  Sign says please do not put paper in the toilet.  The water for the sink didnt work, BUT they did have hand sanitizer instead so everything is okay!  I also love the tip container.  I would put money on the fact that they put the money in to make people think it is the right thing to do….  I was cracking up!  Broken sink, broken toilet, hand sanitizer and a tip jar!  Perfect!

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