How many parts of us lay dormant for maybe years to be one day awaken?


Is it just me or does this happen to other people too?  I have a feeling it does.  It happens like maybe one or two times a decade… where i will be living within a particular set of emotions.  They seem to be wide ranging and diverse, but… alas… they are just the ones that have been chosen by my brain to do the job of living.  It is the safe set.  Sometimes not a healthy set, but it is a functional set.

I do once and a while think to yourself… gee, i havent really cried or been super happy or felt attraction towards another in a really long time.  How about anyone else?

Then, who knows how what or why, something or someone unleashes a whole barrel of new and often raw emotions into your brain and body.  It is not that they are bad emotions, it’s that they just have not stretched their legs in so long, it feels a bit like your life as you know it has been hi-jacked by your own hidden emotions that suddenly came to life!

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think that this is a good thing on most accounts in the big picture.  You are more alive at that moment than at any other, pretty much.  Your emotions are far from dead!   And dead is what kind of rut the usual emotions were making you feel.  Maybe not dead but dulled.  Programed.  You get what i mean right?

These unleashed emotions always catch me off guard… every single time.  And i fight them.  I hate them.  They deem me out of control compared to my safe set world.  They make me do rash things and make me fear that these new powerful unleashed emotions may take over my personality and lead me blindly into a dangerous situation for my heart or my head or my life.

But i know how to rid myself or tame them as much as i know how they got awakened.  I dont know what to do with these feelings.  I am not prepared.  I feel exposed to the world and i feel like i could do damage that can not be repaired.

Maybe if i just walk away from the (usually is a person…) situation that these feelings have come to play with, then i may be safe.

…If only life and the complex that is emotions were that simple and easy!  No.  But that is what it is to be alive right??  To feel and to think.  Hopefully in a way that can make us see things anew.

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About bluepearlgirl's world

Hello. My actual name is Emelie. I am an artist in San Francisco. I started out my early life deep in the Santa Cruz mountains. I left Santa Cruz shortly after graduating High School in 1992 and moved up to the city. I have been in sf ever since and more specifically Bernal Hts. since 2009. I work in a number of mediums usually depending on the space i have to work in. In SF that can vary greatly! I look forward to sharing my thoughts, observations and photos with you all. Hopefully at the very least i will give you a little chuckle once and a while. Thank you for stopping and reading my little blog. I encourage all who stops by to leave comments. I will read them all and appreciate the time you spend with me! Sincerely to you all! Emelie (aka, Bluepearlgirl) To see some of my artwork, please check out www.artwanted.com/emelie ........... Another blogger Mskatiekins sums my blog up pretty well... here is what she said.... "BluePearlGirl’sWorld – This is one diverse blog. This sassy gal tackles big issues as well as posting funny and uplifting little pick-me-ups. I’d love to learn more about you and your art/creativity!"

8 thoughts on “How many parts of us lay dormant for maybe years to be one day awaken?

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I seem to have been stuck in this rut of being a father and provider for a long time. There is no real personal emotions going on. Happiness only seems to come through my children and their achievements.

  2. This is so thought provoking Emelie. It really is.
    Sometimes I think that i’m a bit bipolar, but it’s just being an ENFJ on the Myer Briggs and super tuned into what’s going on emotionally for myself or around me. The dormancy part is interesting to explore.

    Do you think it’s possible to actively access these parts of your mind yourself?

    I know you hate them, but i find being aware of how i’m feeling and embracing it whilst looking at it objectively really helps.
    When it comes to writing I like to actually try and invoke the strong emotional feelings to bring something really authentic out to share with my followers.
    Thanks for a VERY thought provoking post! You’ve certainly inspired me for the day.

    • Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to my post and my ponderings! To answer your question… i dont know. I often wonder how much of it is environment and how much is biologic…. I think it has a lot to do with your biochemical cocktail that happens to be flowing through your brain and body. But i also think that the mind and the emotional soul are pretty unusually special things. Powerful things. Things that dont fit into a mathematic equation, which everything else on the planet and the universe can be measured and/or explained. the soul and emotions are so interesting. the only thing i do know is that WE DONT KNOW SHIT!! lol! and it is our duty to just be here to be our step in the evolutionary process. I am glad you liked my writing. Please feel free to make yourself at home here!

      🙂

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