…And boy those holidays sure bring them into full misery and they share with the spirit of Christmas. Lucky us!!
Ok. So my dad, his best friend and caregiver Debbie and I made a pact last night to be nice and try and enjoy Christmas today, after having a huge blow out yesterday. Debbie was in tears (which is a constant for her.), Dad was over it but also sorta playing both sides just so he wouldn’t have to hear the arguing and i was not taking the abuse and vocally let it be known (aka the hammer). All in all things were going downhill… rapidly!
I did not just fly over 400 miles to come from one house of disfunction straight into another. We are all pretty aware as well, that this is probably going to be my dad’s last Christmas here with us all.
So it is very important for it to try and be a positive memory for us all. That is all i wanted for Xmas. Just to get along and enjoy each others company. Unfortunately it is looking as if we can not even make it till 2:30 (a whopping 4 hours!) without someone picking up the same topic that started the blow out yesterday, which we had agreed on not bringing up.
Which leads me to this question…
Why is it that some people think it is ok to project a lot of angry and corrupt energy into their entire surroundings? They clearly are not thinking about anything or anyone but themselves. It is so seriously annoying and can really ruin a day.
(This does make me VERY thankful for headphones and personal music playing devices! It is the only way aside from outright leaving (which is what i have had to do to be sitting here writing this now to not get passively agressively sucked into the drama.)
Life is so short. Why is it so hard to want to appreciate it? It may not be perfect, but we are all together, we have a beautiful meal here, presents were opened, heat was on, roof was over head, and we even have every movie channel that one can get. AND WE ARE TOGETHER!! We are so SO LUCKY!! How come it seems like i am the only one left on the planet that wants to focus on this?
My dad and i get along pretty awesomely when it is just he and I. I hate to say it, but right about now, i wish it was just us two. I know we would be enjoying the day even with him so sick. We still have the want to laugh and enjoy life. I come off, i am pretty sure, as someone who is unbending, but not so at least for now. I bent over backwards and kissed serious ass last night to get Deb to come around in hopes of a non disfunctional Christmas this year (when i did not have to apologize at all. I did not do anything wrong but state that her and i were going to have to agree to disagree when it comes to my dad. She did not want to let me have my own opinion and if it was not hers, i was not hearing her…. Grrrr.) I am trying here. I could have gotten deep into it with her right then and there for talking about my dad that way, but i didnt. I just said that i appreciate what she was saying, but i just happen to disagree. We are going to have to respect each others opinion as it is not the same as our own. She did not like this at all! And i did not like that at all).
So now, while dad is out, and i am preparing dinner and she is cleaning up something or another, she starts back in at my dad. I said i did not want to talk about this topic today. We had agreed.
Toss the agreement out the window, because then she says that nobody wants to listen to her. She has no one to talk to and no one wants to hear her. Well, that is pretty correct. At least when it comes to the fact that my dad is very ill and does not and can not have energy all the time. I do not fault him for this, she does. This is where we have a major difference of opinion. And when it comes to my dad, it is a very invested and personal thing to us both. The only one Debbie seems to be concerned with in a sympathetic way is herself and the only one that has no personal responsibility in the way she feels and the way people are treating her. I feel like i am right back in elementary school for the retarded.
What happened to good tidings and cheer? What happened to warm holiday wishes? What happened to the concept that people chose to be miserable or be happy?
Why cant us grown adults just get along? We are supposed to be setting the example! At this rate, disfunctionable people are the only thing that we are going to be able to create!
So folks, For me, this year, would you please think about taking a little bit of effort to get along with those that we dont usually naturally? Take those deep breaths. Take the high road. Make it a holiday that you all would want to remember!!! Remember all of the love. Remember that you are together and that will not be the case forever!
Merry Christmas everyone!!
- Rain brings Christmas Day flood misery (thetimes.co.uk)
- Anxiety Attack (preludetoamidlifecrisis.wordpress.com)
- Silent Night, Miserable Night – Tracey Thorn On Christmas Songs (thequietus.com)
- Struggling to feel the spirit… (momedy.blogspot.com)
- Merry Xmas (shadymorais.wordpress.com)
- Reverend Graham Long invites everyone to Wayside Chapel’s 49th annual free Christmas lunch: “Don’t be on your own and be miserable – come out and be miserable with us” [Cool] (fark.com)
- Christmas misery in Haiti camp, three years after quake (terradaily.com)