I came across this blog asking about liars. Here is what it said… (you can see her blog here… http://jasabrenica.wordpress.com/2012/03/16/a-question-from-the-curious/ )
A Question from the Curious
Actions speak louder than words. I believe in that saying, but like every other saying, it’s not applicable on every circumstance. My months have been filled with days where words just seemingly contradict one’s actions. She says this, and does otherwise. He promises, only to be defeated by temptation.
Just out of curiosity, and probably the constant tug of my almost-severed heartstrings, I have begun to question the possibility of someone subconsciously neglecting you and it being the subconscious, means that he is unaware that he/she is doing it so.
What do you think?
All this time my soul has marks of sorrow, rooted from forgotten dates and poor quality time. Maybe it’s me being overly dramatic, but I do believe that 3 months of continuous depressed notions might mean something. I really believe that people should have a little bit of quality time each day, despite the stress work brings. One cannot make up for lost time. It’s called “lost” for a reason. I don’t believe in quality time after the stressful weeks and months, because what if that keeps on happening? Then I’ll be subject to waiting for the end of each term. That’s the only time I’ll be able to feel special, that someone is making an effort to see me and spend time with me? Really?
“Making up for it” used to work.
It just get hard to believe you’ve heard the same lines before.”
Here is my response…
This is what i have discovered after a LOT of loss and broken trust etc with people. It is one of the main things I personally remind myself because it has ALWAYS proven to be true. DO NOT TRUST WORDS!! Actions are the only true gauge in which to determine the truth. I personally have an x-boyfriend who is a clinical compulsive liar and he is probably one of the best. After time and knowing his routines and a little fact checking, i would find out it was all a lie… (Infact, i just wrote a post about this very topic.. here is a link if you want to check it out… https://bluepearlgirlsworld.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/liars-and-the-victims-of-liars-share-your-story-i-did-here-is-one-of-mine/)
People can spend years practicing their words and delivery and tone of voice. However, certain things are just nature. People seem to do what they want yet explain that they were doing just what they know the other person wants to hear. Sometimes it as long as one hears a lie that is logical enough to kinda plug up the big gaps, we believe it because we want to believe it. Nobody wants to find out they are being lied to and possibly used and for sure being hurt. It makes you feel like a fool to find out that you have been duped too. That is sometimes another reason that you dont want to believe that no matter how much sincerity one has in their conviction of explanation, in the back of your mind, you know that something stinks. It may mean life is going to not go the way you were led to invision and that it is going to be really hard and completely scary to follow your instinct. I have also found that people treat you as good as you allow them to. If you stay with your convictions and look out and protect your heart and yourself, you will increase the chances of finding people that are willing to treat you in a dignified manner (note though, you need to do the same as well back. You give what you get.).
When it comes to love, i have found that not always but often (especially younger) guys will try and get as much from life as they can get. They dont always think of or care that their actions are going to hurt us. They will lie because they dont want to get nagged at, yelled at or lose their “in” with being able to still have it with you. In other words, as long as they think they can get away with it because they dont want the hassles, they want their cake and to eat it too. It is gluttony and hedonistic and selfish as well.
However, you have to remember (and this is the trick!) not all of them are this way. Your goal it to find one of the good ones that have a strong female role model and a good relationship with their mother figure, no history of abuse or cheating and lying etc. The younger you are, the less it matters about choosing a person who is an equal and respects you because you both are still finding out who that person is. When you are older, you choose not to waste time on doomed interactions. You start seeing quality of character and it is refreshing and sexy because you have seen so many greedy selfish liars that finding one that has more substance.
I have already written a little novella here so i will just reiterate that i think you know the answer or you wouldnt have asked the question. Unfortunately i think your answer is not the one you were hoping for. Sometimes that is how it falls. The question you have to ask is do you care if it were true and he was lying to you? Would you plan on staying with them anyway? In the future think twice about asking questions that you may not want to hear the answer for. I dont think you are one of these women that wants to be led through the world blind.. I think you are smart and strong and do not need to be with or friends with or waist any more time with people that are using you or toxic to you. You deserve better than that.
It is a lot less exhausting to speak a lie than to live the lie! Remember that. Most people dont take the time and energy to back it up by living it so they tend to make up for it by talking you into believing their lie.
Good luck and thank you for allowing me to get lost in writing for a few minutes. I reposted your blog and added a link. i hope you dont mind!:)