This is the reason I walked half the length of the city tonight!

I had the longest Mass transit experience of my entire life today. It started this morning with the bus ride from Visitacion Valley to Bernal Heights. After that I had to go from Bernal Heights to North Beach.

There are several different routes that I could’ve taken however I wanted the smoothest most comfortable ride route… So I went with the KT third Street railcar.

Oh my gosh what a mistake that was! I should’ve known it when the driver of the 24 which took me to the third Street light rail wouldn’t allow me to get on because my transfer had expired.

When we got to Evans,this is what stopped us dead in our tracks. We were all forced to get off the train. We ended up walking most of the way to n. beach, Because it kept any trains going beyond the point of the accident.

All in all my one-way trip from Bernal Heights to North Beach took me over two hours and 15 minutes!

I did however make a friend named Larry who walked with me the entire way we had a good time & I think it was all worth it. However that doesn’t mean I ever want to do it again!

Now in regards to this accident this is a triple offense, take a look at the pictures below… First… Notice how far the trucks right tire has crossed over the crosswalk. Then, look at how close the truck cut that turn next to the muni. And finally the final insulating blow…

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There is a no left turn sign in the intersection! Triple fail that sent people to the hospital. That truck needs to have his commercial license revoked I think!

And finally I snuck a secret smoke break shot of my new friend Larry. It was so much more fun with him and I making our slow way across town! Thanks Larry!!

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Now I am exhausted and need a joint & some rest for my poor feet!
:)

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Photo walk in Bernal Heights East and south sides

Yesterday, although the winds were strong, the sun kept the gusting breeze a cool breath not a cold blow! I started at the top of the hill and read a book that I just started called The Age of Gold by, H.W. Brands.

After about a half an hour I decided it was time to walk. I was trying to figure out where the warmest and least gusty route might be.

So I started out heading east. I then investigated the east slope and moved around to the south slope. It was warm and beautiful!! Very quaint! I mean… Who ever thought there were green tree lined streets in busy metropolis San Francisco!!

I hope you enjoy these photos that I snapped along the way!

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Do they seriously think that we all would believe that the Blue Angels won’t fly because the military is TOO POOR???

English: Hillsboro, Ore. (Aug. 15, 2004) - The...

One big word for that… BULLSHIT!!!

I mean seriously, how stupid do they think we are?  If the greed mongers that control the world did not want to give the bay area an air show this year at fleet week, couldn’t they at least have come up with a believable reason why??

I mean, come on!  Who would buy that the US Military is under funded??  NO ONE! Continue reading

Not your average lap pet!

While I was working out on my hike yesterday, I was heading home when I stumbled across this little guy. I wonder if these are more useful than a club to prevent your car from getting stolen??

 

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My god dang computer went down… AGAIN!

Well folks, we have been here before, i tell you.  My poor Macbook’s problem just re-surfaced after 3 long dormant months.  I replaced the part last time so this time, i just dont know why the problem is still persisting.  This means, that my postings may be coming less frequently until i can resolve this technical failing.  Thank you again for your patience and loyalty!!

Sometimes, no matter what kind of day, even a good day, i just feel so isolated.

I hate it when i feel this way.  Nostalgic, lonely, antsy, despondent and yet at the same time hopeful.  I think also a huge contributing part is bordom and the stagnent place my life and especially my social life is in.

Usually… in fact i would say about 90% of the time i am quite content. I am usually EXTREMELY independent.  I like to do my own thing and in fact am a sort of loner (that does not count against my kitty though… we are a team!  Except when people are around!  lol).  However, once in a while, i get so depressed about the friends that i have had and the friends that i have lost and the friends that i am surrounded by now.  It all just gets a bit gloomy and overbearing on my poor little brain. Continue reading

Living on the eve of a new dawn… and not being able to stop that sunrise!

The Dawn!

The Dawn!

They always say that

“One never knows what they have got until it is gone.”

This is not and has not usually been the case for me. Nope. Instead, i can see that things are really good right now and they are changing and the changes are not ideal. I realize when i am living in one of the apex’es of my life… On the verge of a new, darker dawn. A time where things are now as intelligent and as open as they may ever be. I can see a new dawn before me, yet i am still standing in yesterday or what is today.

It is a strange feeling to be living in what feels more like a memory than the now. Usually when i think of the right now… it feels exciting and innovative and current. But sometimes it feels like the now is the yesterday or yesteryear. The golden era that once was… the good ol’ days. And it feels like right now is actually part of the past because I know what the future is looking like.

Usually when i have this kinda like reverse deja vous, it makes me very melancholy and i just wish i could push that button on that stopwatch so I can just stop time before things move into this new outline i see before me. Like a line drawing that is about to be colored in. That is what the future feels like. You know what it is going to be (in its simplest form) and you know what these changes are going to do to the reality that you have grown your life around and into. You know that big things are about to change. Drastically.

The familiar markers that you thought were a part of the landscape that was a permanent fixture of the main picture. You thought that certain infrastructures as a part of the fabric that you have come to count on would be part of that picture forever. That, without that part of the landscape infrastructure, it would or could never survive. That it has relied on these components for so long that you assume that it is and will be like that forever.

I think that this is an optimistic and naive perspective and not surprising from someone who’s generation has never seen the face of a drafted war or famine.

I am sure that all of those jewish people who were just living their lives in Germany, going about their business like they had been doing for generations were caught off guard when all of a sudden their friends and colleges were being harassed and eventually moved into ghettos. They never thought that that would be their reality or that they would not be doing what ancestors had been doing for generations. No, Their reality and future was MUCH much different. They would be fighting for their lives with many of them losing that fight, and the ones that managed to survive, their towns, and their families and communities did not.

My point is this… What if those German Jewish people were able to see what was in store for them before it was actually become a reality? It would make one despondent yet so desperate to try and capture the reality before the darkness. To remember it and keep it with you for always.

But that makes one not really interact within their lives. Because it feels more like interacting with a scene on a set. You cant really dig roots or make any plans for one’s future when that future is so different and unknown. What do you do?

I think this has been how it has been for me for a good portion of my life. At least my adult life. I think that this is EXACTLY why i have never gotten married or had any children and i think it is a huge contributing component to why i have suffered depression so severely over the past 20 years. It can be a never ending downwards free fall of despondence. Along with that guilt and a warm fuzzy feeling of nostalgia.

I guess i am saying that it is a very weird feeling to be having a lifetime apex moment and at the same time being so totally aware that things will never be better than this very moment and you can not hold onto it. It is elusively slipping away as the seconds tick by. It kinda feels a little bit out of body experience.

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A few generations away and boy the times have changed!

One of my favorite websites is called FoundSF.org.  It has such great articles about San Francisco and all of its colorful history.  Sometimes when i am bored, i go to it to just read.  My ancestors were some of the founders of San Francisco.  I did not learn this fact until i was the age of 19, at which point i began studying San Francisco history as well as my own lineage.

When i came across this article this morning, i could not believe how perfect it was… like it was written just for me!

I have always had trouble understanding just how my ancestors lives influenced my own.  It is several generations away and clearly lifestyles have changed greatly.  But i feel the past.  I feel my relatives around me.  They push me to become a better person and to continue to be proud of the Koshland name as well as my closely related relatives. Continue reading

You laugh when i say that my house has a ghost…

Zimmerman portraying a ghost.

Zimmerman portraying a ghost. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Go ahead and laugh.  And then explain just how my door tonight became locked from the inside when i left the room empty and dead bolted when i left…?

I know we have a ghost here.  It seems that i often seem to have a ghost that resides in my residences.  And my childhood home growing up we even wondered if we had a ghost.

This apt. is by far the most active hauntings than all of the others.  In this house, i finally got haunted by having something (my iphone mind you) fly across the room!  I luckily had a witness there with me so she can confirm that i am not delusional and vice versa.  That time we were the only 2 people in the house.

Usually the ghost likes to play what i like to think of as hide and seek with my stuff.  I have found that if i tell it to put it back right now… it gets found in often an absurdly unbelievable spot (like the middle of my bed or right on the middle of the floor or even in my own lap… AFTER i have stood up and sat back down!).

Tonight though, it managed to lock the other lock in my room that can only be locked from the inside.  Lucky for me i was able to take a bicycle spoke and wrench it back to where i could open the door.  This is the only time i have ever had this happen and it is somewhat disturbing… mostly because my little baby kitty Arthur is in there. but also because… THAT IS MY ROOM!!

I went down and talked to our downstairs neighbor Mary one time  and what she told me, scared the pants off of me.

Mary has lived in the building for over 40 years, raising 3 children here after arriving from Nicaragua.  Mary is the shit!  I really dig Mary.  She is a sweet lady.  However, i speak no spanish and she speaks some english but is much more comfortable in spanish.

Over a conversation lasting about 45 minutes, i got up the nerve to ask her if there was any paranormal incidents here when her boys were living up here.  She told me this…

She said after one of her sons had moved away for college, he had moved back to the house (so he was a grown up by then.).  She said he was upstairs taking a nap when he came bounding down the stairs screaming and crying.  She made a big issue of this because i get the feeling that she was not used to seeing her son in such a state.

She said “What happened?  What is it”??

He went on to tell her that while he was resting, he was levitated.  LEVITATED!!
WTF?!?!

Now, i have never experienced being levitated but i know that there is enough unexplained phenomenon here that enough people have seen it or had it happen to themselves that i am finally not looking quite so crazy when i come bounding out of my room mumbling …god damn ghost….

It is a curious thing though.  Dont you think?

Have you ever been “haunted” before?  Please share your story!  It is hard to know how wide spread these things are if no one ever talks about them!  Wouldnt that suck for me if i am the only one…  I had never thought of it like that….  uh oh!  ;)

Open letter to the residents of the city of Oakland….

English: The of . Français : Temple mormon d'O...

English: The of . Français : Temple mormon d’Oakland, en Californie (États-Unis). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know that things are starting to change over there for you in Oakland.  Rents are rising and the vacancies are less.  There are more people moving to Oakland because the locals are being forced out of places like mostly San Francisco due to the new sweetheart deals our douche-bag mayor arranged to bring in new tech firms and along with them over 50,000 new soul-less, uncultured, ass-brained tech workers.

This topic of gentrification has been one i have been writing about for a while now and is probably the issue that weighs down on me more than any other. It is such a heavy subject that i actually see it changing the way i see society and my general outlook on people in general. It is making me a little bit discriminating towards certain new crowds. And i know that there are probably a few cool ones in all of that gentrification… but i hate you regardless… i know… it is wrong…. Continue reading

Take a look at these numbers and then tell me SF bay real estate is not HOT HOT HOT!!

Houses going fast and high in San Francisco.

Just to give you some idea of what a hot market that is highly inflated (if you ask me!) for housing sales…  Check out these numbers….

Last year, 162 properties sold in the Bay Area for over $5 million.

AND In the 9 counties of the Bay Area, over 11,000 $1 million-plus properties were sold.

Now if you dont call that a sellers market… i dont know what is!

It does not surprise me though.  If you want anything more that 2 bedrooms in San Francisco, you are looking at over 1 million dollars.

That is pretty crazy and ridiculous to me if you ask.  I remember not very long ago, if you spent a half million dollars on a home, you were living LARGE.  …But… that is back when being a millionaire was a big deal.  Now i think you need to be a billionaire to really impress anyone these days.

So much for buying a house in my hometown in this lifetime!  And… they wonder why people want or have to rent…?  HELLO!!  Some of us dont make a 7 figure salary… and never will.  Thankfully, this is ok with me if this is our reality.  As long as i have a roof over my head, running water and insulation, i am all good. That is as long as i am in my home of SF. even if it is too expensive for god!  I am just going to enjoy it each day as it comes and hope that there are many before displacement is a reality for me too….

Dear San Francisco recent recruits… Question for you on housing…

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Dear San Francisco recent recruits... Question for you on housing...

If you make so much income, why are you really working for your landlord and not yourself? You know that you are being fleeced by your deep pocketed (and lined) landlord. It doesnt really have to cost that much to live in San Francisco but you are willing to give up up to 60% of your income in order to live here which means, you are really working for your landlord who is planning his retirement thanks to you now.

So, if you are making all of this elitist income, which entitles you to be able to call yourselves San Franciscans, WHY ARE YOU RENTING AT ALL???

You are supposed to be the smart ones right? If you were so smart, with interest rates where they are and programs for first time buyers in place, why on earth would you not be working to be paying yourself to be able to call yourself a SFer instead of some international corporation that is your landlord?

The thing that has been going through my mind ever since this new tech migration started moving in… How can these kids afford to be saving anything that they earn? They only eat out and at the hippest joints!. They can pay upwardly of up to 50-60% of their income on rent and the fees associated with hi-rise and condo living (parking, gym, etc.). They (mostly) refuse to use MUNI so only take cabs which by 2015 will not cost less than $5 just to get in.

Where are you saving or investing your income? How do you plan on actually becoming one of these rich people that you are pretending to be?

Real rich people are NOT renters that is for sure! And they have houses that are actually big enough to COOK in!

As well as a place to store all of your fun outdoor sporty equipment so you can stop having to rent a storage unit to house the real stuff in ones life. Hard to live so minimally without any storage or space isnt it? Hard to invest when you can not save. Hard to save when you are throwing all your money away as disposable income.

No wonder the city likes you so much! You come in, make a good wage and turn around and just gladly give it right back.

You all may be ‘smart’ but you do not have much common sense or intelligence. If you did, you would have migrated into this town with a whole different approach and with a knowledge of what their smartest way of integrating would be for both them and for those that they are trying to inter-merge with.

All of other groups in the past that get recruited or just decide to move to SF to work, if they can not find appropriate accommodations, They, in the past have taken a place outside the city until they can find the right place for them. Why is this not an option for you? If some of you had decided to do this, the cost of your rent would not be so overly inflated and you would be able to figure out exactly where in SF or otherwise you fit best thus looking in that area if you chose to come in after getting settled in your new job. This is how things have been done for the ages. What makes you think that instead of that, you can come in and force the market up into the sky so you can find a place right here right now??

I am just wondering, why is it not YOU that has to look outside the city to find a place and not people that have lived here for decades?

Remember the saying… First come first served… YOU are definitely NOT the first! So go serve yourself somewhere where there is availability. Quit being predators upon the local population AND with that awful entitled attitude problem of yours! It makes me truly SICK.

I am just saying….

An open letter to my neighborhood…

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Dear Neighbors,

I write you today to ask for your understanding. You see, I live in the house that you can’t stand.

You know the one.  The blithe on the block.

We dont look unusually bad in appearance (not particularly good either but it is on the corner and is 100 years old so, its design is generally not too offending plus, we are a dirty color of white so we dont really stand out except if you begin to look closely.  That cheap1960′s want-to-be wood grained paneling that is broken in places and entirely painted white… probably in the 60′s!, doesn’t exactly look regal i know).

No it is not our appearance that is so offending.  It is us. Continue reading

The randomness of big city living…

From atop Bernal Hill at the

I live in San Francisco.  San francisco although small in size is definitely what i would still consider a big city.  Yes it has a dense population Yes it is a civic and international destination.  And yes… randomness like this does still (for the time being) still occur.

Let me set the scene for you… We (our household) has two issues we are dealing with in regards to harassment.

Continue reading

I have an idea for relief for this SF housing crisis….

Modern Apartment at 1000 N. Lasalle

Modern Apartment at 1000 N. Lasalle (Photo credit: PPMChicago-Alex)

Views over Plaza Cataluñya. Modern apartment f...

Views over Plaza Cataluñya. Modern apartment for sale in Barcelona|LFS3064 (Photo credit: lucasfoxbcn)

I dont know why some smart little city near sf (maybe like foster city over on the bay side or somewhere like that…) does not decide that they are going to invest in a portion of town and build luxury living (renting) and luxury dining for this part.  Clearly we need another place that these tech workers would consider living other than the city or there will be nothing but only tech and advertising highly paid kids living in the city.  They are young and quite wealthy (at least bringing in large paychecks) and want the lifestyle of luxury and modernity and hip swank. Continue reading

The funniest thing I have seen all day!

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The funniest thing I have seen all day!

…This is….

Crime in Atherton. Grab some tissues… You are in for a bumpy ride!

 

If you happen to live in Atherton Ca. which happens to be the states 4th most expensive zip code (median home price is 4.9 million!), then it is no huge surprise that you have even less than first world problems.  You have maybe half world problems.  And when there is a problem… Who do you call?  The police of course.  Boy if i were a Santa Clara county deputy i really would love to be assigned this beat!  But only if i still had my patience and a serious sense of humor!

 

(To see the original article on the SFist, follow this link…

http://sfist.com/2013/02/14/all_the_best_police_blotter_gems_fr.php#photo-7)

This was just too funny to pass up sharing with you all.  I have lived in the Bay area my whole life, growing up deep in the Santa Cruz mountains.  My dad’s business was over the hill and so we had friends over there.  I have always been familiar with Atherton.  I think my parents had friends that lived there (keeping in mind that this was in the 70′s & 80′s when it was really rich but the whole bay was much less populated than it is now).

In fact, life was much less complicated than it is now.  And much more connected.  Now days, fear is fed to us along with the ideals that beauty rules along with sex (however, it can not be talked about) and consumerism.

I dont think that in the days i was a kid that people living in Atherton were this incapable and terrified of… well… Anything that they might happen to come across.  I suppose that is reserved for our curent generations of frightened stiff un-functioned twits living in their walled manses afraid of the world and clearly delusionally entitled.

I would not like to see these people cope in a natural disaster where you are forced to rely on your friends and neighbors.  If this was survival of the fittest, these people would NOT survive.

It is funny but also just kinda sad, dont cha think?

 

I would like (those that are unfamiliar) to introduce you properly to my little neighborhood… Bernal Heights.

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One of the best little neighborhoods in the world. I am grateful to have ended up over here. Before here i had lived in the panhandle (now days it is called NOPA) but since as the new name tells you, it has been almost thoroughly gentrified. Not Bernal! Hopefully it never will be! THANKS BERNAL! I love you back!

By the way… Happy Valentines Day All!!

Friday night… From the 80′s to now… What you did not know or have forgotten….

Old Romanian made phone

As i was just sitting here dealing with someone who seems to be very flakey, i started going into flashbacks of what it USED to be like to date or make plans with someone.

For those of you too young to remember, society did not always have very socially friendly ways of communicating.  No cordless let alone cel phones, no answering machines or voice mail, Not even redial!  Can you believe that redial was something that was invented SINCE i was born?!!  Unbelievable!!

Technology is moving at such a fast pace that technology gets fully integrated into our lives now within a couple of months.  Sometimes a couple of weeks.  Keeping this in mind, and considering the fact that i am only 38, it just goes to show you how fast technology has become so much a part of our lives… well… lets just say, i would not like to see the younger generation deal with a massive power outage!  They would not know where to go and what to do or even how to contact their friends because no phone numbers these days have to be memorized. Continue reading

Oh how things have changed for me… (from High School to House music… some of the things that influenced who i became….)

I have not always been the person you may see me as today.  As a girl growing up I was much sweeter and sentimental and isolated.  I suppose that is because i lived in a well grounded, well loved and well disciplined family out in the redwoods with little to influence me into bad things other than maybe being defiant or talking back.  But, when you get grounded and can not watch tv or talk on the phone and live near no friends or civilization, (keep in mind that this was in the days of no computers, cel phones or hand held devices let alone more than 4 channels to watch on tv… no cable) one tends to stay in line pretty much.  Plus i always wanted my parents to be proud of me and i felt terrible if they were ever disappointed in me.  Psychological manipulation!  Boy it sure worked like a charm on my brother and me.

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I lived in this lush dark wonderland for the first 14 years of my life.  By the time i had gotten to Junior High, i had gone my entire k-6 education in the same school and the last 2 years with the same teacher! (Hi Ms. Daniels!).

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I had tried out at the end of 6th grade to be a cheerleader in 7th grade.  I made the squad so that pretty much kept me busy after school after we moved into the big house in 8th grade.

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I think i may have been the last generation of kids that lived their high school years closer to the way the movies in the 80′s portrayed.  To give you an idea of how different things were back then, the first year i was in high school, we had a smoking section ON CAMPUS!  The next year, they said they (the smokers) had to go down the trail to smoke.  I only walked down the trail a couple times because my car was usually on the other side of campus since i lived a 20 minute drive from school.  The trail was a side cut down into town, with no room for cars to pull over or park.  I never felt weird going down the trail.  I had friends down there too.  I had friends in the library, in the Ag dept.  In the quad, in the doughnut, and in the art room.

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Everyone was friends with everyone.  There was little divide by color.  More by the sport (or activity but since it was a great weathered surf town, sports were everywhere) you chose to associate yourself with… Football player, Surfer, Drama crowd, Basket ball guys, WATER POLO guys (gosh i loved the water polo guys!!), cheerleader, student council etc.  But it was ok to cross mix.  We all mingled.  if people did not get along, they did not on personal grounds not because they were mexican or in band.

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We were able to come and go on and off campus at will.  You could drive to lunch downtown or you could walk down to the mini mart across the street and down from the school.  You did not ever even think about someone coming to school with a gun and kids were not having sex in 3rd grade.  Not even 5th grade as far as my school went. (we all would have known!  Trust me! It was school news if someone was seen kissing sans tounge!)  We went roller skating on the weekend and went to school dances and pep rallies.  We stayed late to make posters or watch swim team practice.  We had REALLY good teachers and faculty for the most part.  They were intelligent and challenging and loved their jobs and cared.  And we showed up!   We did the work for the most part as well.  We liked and knew each other and it was cool.

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The year after i graduated, i had heard that the school had gotten a lot rougher.  They had a closed school policy and there were a lot of fights at lunch time… one time there were 10 fights one lunch, 6 of them being between two girls!  Woah!  that would have never happened while i was at school.

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(i am third from the bottom second from the left.)

By the time i was in Jr. High, i had become one of those that would rather not make waves than rock the boat.  It was just easier to just agree to do something that i thought was boring then make a big stink.  I did not know how to say no either.  People knew this and really used it to their advantage.  This started as a pattern very early on.

Grad Night Party. 1992

Grad Night Party. 1992

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By the time i had graduated, i was already practically more in SF than i was at home.  I was a raver.  Now this was the early 1990′s in San Francisco and there was something that was incredible that happened there at that time so i will never be ashamed of saying that i was a raver in the early 90′s.

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I was not wearing day-glo paint on my face and blowing whistles and sucking on lolly pops.  I was hiking over rock and sand to dance under the full moon on the beach on the coast of California.  I was going to map point parties that would take several maps and destinations/hand off/ exchanges for new map point parties. I went to weekly’s on Thursday nights. I would go and hear the Hardkiss Brothers play in the basement of Coctails which is now Asia SF on the corner of 9th and Howard St.  The basement club was called The Pit and its ceiling rained sweat on you.  It was gross but amazing too.

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I would go to Townsend and King Street and Big Heart City, Trocadero, DV8 and . as well as DNA Lounge (where they would lay grass out in front of the club on Sunday mornings for people to hang out on), and of course the EndUp.  There were many others places and parties…(The Gathering, Bulletproof boat parties,Comeunity, Wicked, Love Garage, Groove kitchen, Pleasuredome, Martini Fridays, Spundae,  Equinox, Osmosis, Universe… the list goes on and on and on).  It was amazing.. Kinda like our own little version of our Woodstalk.  So, to me, drugs were something that were experimented with not pushed on street corners and to little kids.  It was fun and enlightening and i would have to say that that was maybe the best times in my life.

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The music and the acceptance of diversity and warmpth from strangers was an amazing thing.  Truly it was the music though that brought us all together, and has remained powerful enough to have kept a lot of us all still connected.

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I digress.  Fast forward 20 years and i have come around 180 degrees.  I definitely know how to say no now.  In fact, i will probably be the first and the loudest to say “Hell NO!!  Have you gone lost your mind??”  I know how to defend myself and others around me.  Sometimes it feels like i am the only one who will stand up for someone.  People dont want to get involved these days for the most part it seems.  Which to some extent is smart, but if someone is being unfairly picked on or if some one is unfairly attacking someone eles i have no problem stepping in and telling them to lay off.

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I suppose i have come so full circle that my nickname in the house is “The Hammer”!  Hahaha.  That is so funny to me i tell you.  The Hammer!?  Who ever would have thunk!  Not me if you had paid me back in the day.

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My bottom line here people, you can change and you do change as you get older.  You slip into bad habits and you break out of others.  You figure out who you really are and realize that that was not who you thought you were going to be.  You become ok with yourself and you start being able to use your experiences to help you to avoid doing it again the same way.

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You get over those things that you used to procrastinate so, because you realize that it takes up so much more energy stressing over trying to forget about it (but not) than actually just getting up and doing it.  Your learn to appreciate some bigger things in life and thus life gets smaller and simpler.  You dont feel the need for the same amount of attention from loads of strangers.  You just want attention from those that you love.  You enjoy time. You realize what time is and how if you have your health and your family and food and a roof then the rest is just toppings.  You learn to want to enjoy life on simpler terms.

Photo with no makeup is proof that i have grown up!

Photo with no makeup is proof that i have grown up!

Yet you still love your good house music!! …and always will!

Are some holidays and events socially media intertwined more than others?

Watching the big game on two huge screens in K...

Watching the big game on two huge screens in Klaus!!! #superbowl (Photo credit: Eweinhoffer)

I was just sitting here on my bed watching painfully our 9ers play without fire in their bellies and losing badly at the Superbowl.  My computer sits on my lap and i am checking my local blog sites (bernalwood.wordpress.com, CurbedSF.com & the SFist.com).  I decide to go to my blog stats page to see if my theory held up.

My theory was that stats for visits for my posts would be low, just like they were Christmas day.

My Christmas day prediction was wrong and today’s Super Bowl day prediction on visits was also wrong.

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My prediction on Xmas was that there would be a lot of people online viewing blogs and social media sites.  They weren’t.  They in retrospect were of course with family and probably in a food-semi coma.  NOT online.

My prediction for today was similar to what the actual xmas outcome was.  I assumed that people would be at Superbowl parties and at bars across the USA, getting drunk and basically only connecting to the big screen TV and possibly their sattellite that connects to their big screen TV.

 

But i was wrong again.  Views are high on Superbowl Sunday.  Views are low on Christmas.  So, Superbowl Sunday is a social media intertwined event and Christmas is not.  I wonder what the 4th of July will be….

Do people have a right to call 911 for a noise complaint during the Super Bowl?

Super Bowl XLV logo

Super Bowl XLV logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While watching the game this year, i decided it might be interesting to turn on the SF Police scanner and listen to how much mayhem is afoot.

Police motorcycles line up at the 2006 war pro...

It is not yet to the half and things are pretty tame and i would say on the quiet side.  What has been catching my attention is how many code 415 calls there have been.  Code 415 is a noise complaint.

A noise complaint??  SERIOUSLY??  So, you mean that jack hammers, saws, large machinery and all kinds of other daytime sounds are equally as loud if not louder, and there is not big code 415s then.  Do people have a right to call 911 at 4:30 in the afternoon on a sunday when their team happens to be playing at that very moment in the super bowl?

This whole town has the feeling of it being a holiday.  Just as it did during the Giants run to the World series champions.  NO ONE in San Francisco on this Sunday, could possibly NOT know that the Superbowl is on OR that we are IN IT!!

To me, it seems like an extreme waste of resources on a day where there are going to need all that there is.

What do you think?  Am i a biased Super Bowl fan or an insensitive loud ass chick in general, or does this seem ridiculous to you as well.  I would be curious to hear your thoughts.

P.s.  I also actually heard a call due to a dog barking!  A DOG BARKING??  Are we living in a world that thinks that life is silent or should be?  Now i like my peace and quiet too, but daytime is free game.  If all of those builders etc can jack hammer next to my house for 5 hours straight starting at 7:00 am, cant a dog bark for a few minutes on a sunday afternoon?

Get the real deal on how safe your passwords are….

 

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password-cracking.jpg (Photo credit: CyberHades)

I just found this really interesting information on how long it takes (right now at least.. Keep in mind that things are constantly getting faster so, in say, 6 months one might be able to cut this in like half….) to crack your passwords.

Think about it and if you are smart, you will keep this in mind when you are making passwords for your accounts.

This was pulled from VentureBeat’s blog. You can find the original post here http://venturebeat.com/2013/02/02/7-reasons-you-cant-take-social-networks-for-granted/

Ok… Get ready for some useful statistics here!..

Graphic processors allow password-cracking programs to work thousands of times faster than they did just a decade ago.

The LinkedIn breach (mentioned above) should by now make us realize that relying on traditional passwords isn’t enough anymore. Investigation-management software provider I-sight provides the following note on how easy it is to crack your password:

Read more at http://venturebeat.com/2013/02/02/7-reasons-you-cant-take-social-networks-for-granted/#biZEp79eKjSoevzR.99

There you have it folks.  Be smart with your private information and make sure you have a really solid password on your accounts.  Now they dont need smart people to figure anything out and do the hard work… They just hit run on an application and wait until it has been cracked.

What is up with the arrogant attitudes of the new influx of San Francisco residents towards those that they are displacing? Even the mayor’s!

The SFBG (San Francisco Bay Guardian) wrote the most dead on point article on SF’s housing crisis and Mayor Ed Lee’s acknowledgement of it (as well as partial cause).  It is so well written that i am including  it in its entirety.   Thank you SFBG!!

Ed Lee’s State of the City: What evictions? What displacement?

01.28.13 – 12:54 pm | Tim Redmond |

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Mayor Ed Lee punctuated his State of the City speech with a nice little quip: “Every San Franciscan deserves a clean, safe place to call home.” I agree.

So why, in a speech lasting more than an hour, did the mayor not once mention that thousands of San Franciscans are facing the loss of their homes — and will be forced out of the city — because of the same policies that he’s proudly promoting?

These things are always self-congratualtory and full of the requisite bullshit. But Lee’s description of the State of the City was nothing more than a fantasy to the two-thirds of San Franciscans who live in rental housing, many of whom are living with an unacceptable level of insecurity. Much of the city’s rental stock — and the effectiveness of rent control — is at risk at speculators are buying up properties, tossing the tenants out with the Ellis Act, and converting them to tenancies in common. This is a massive civic crisis, brought on in part by the boom in tech jobs and the consequent boom in high-paid young people who want to live in a city that has virtually no vacant housing.

We saw this before, under Mayor Willie Brown; we called it the Economic Cleansing of San Francisco. It was awful, and it’s happening again.

But you wouldn’t know that to hear the mayor completely ignore the issue.

Oh, Lee gave it a toss-off line; gee, the rent is too high, but we can’t ignore the laws of supply and demand. Gee, we’re going to build 45,000 new housing units, and that will fix everything.

But Lee, of all people, ought to know that housing in San Francisco has never followed the laws of supply and demand. This is a highly irregular market, because demand is essentially unlimited. Housing fills us as fast as you build it. And none of the new housing that’s currently under construction or in the pipeline will be affordable to current SF residents who live in rent-controlled units and are at risk for eviction.

When you’re evicted under the Ellis Act in San Francisco today, to make room for someone with more money, you wind up having to leave the city. That’s the bottom line. And everywhere you turn, tenants are facing that ugly prospect.

The mayor spent much of his time talking about jobs. That’s fine; he’s proud that the unemployment rate in the city has fallen to 6.5 percent, but he insists he won’t rest until everyone has a job. Actually, most economists would say that’s impossible; capitalism, by its nature, exists with a structural unemployment rate that rarely falls below 4 percent. In fact, 4 percent is generally considered “full employment.”

More important, the overall rate is 6.5 percent, but it’s way higher for people without college degrees, for youth, and for African Americans. (It’s above 50 percent for transgender people.) The tech boom isn’t providing jobs for all of the unemployed current San Francisco residents; a lot of the jobs are going to people who don’t live here and are moving here for employment. They are putting pressure on the existing housing stock. That always leads to displacement.

None of this is to say that tech jobs are bad or that we shouldn’t have companies that pay high wages locate in San Francisco. What it means is that the city first has to protect its existing vulnerable populations — and that’s not happening.

I would encourage Mayor Lee to talk to the Housing Rights Committee, or the Tenderloin Housing Clinic, or any of the other tenant lawyers who are fighting desperately every day to state off evictions. He’d get a very different picture of the state of the city.

I of course can not NOT comment on a topic i have such a personal interest and stake in (I have seen this happen twice now in 20 years all being within the last 12.)
A commenter wrote… (and annon. of course… CHICKEN!)…

but it will be a significant help for those at the margin.

Some migration of low-income SF’ers from SF to Oakland ir probably natural, helpful and desirable.

This short sentence really irked me.  BADLY.  It is this smug attitude that this new migration is brimming with and it really makes me steam.   Here is my response…

That is… EXCEPT when it is your turn to be forced out of the place you have contributed to and called your home for 20, 40 or 60 years.  Then you will probably leave out that last word and maybe the term “helpful” as well.  Then you will know that every word that the author just wrote is DEAD ON TARGET.  If you think there is a problem with what the author is saying, i would bet anyone $100 that you have not lived in SF for more than 10 years and more likely only around 1-4 years.  YOU are the displacers!  Dont you see?  Do you feel any empathy to what pain you are causing good people that are losing their livelyhoods because you are here now and are working in a new field that many reg. SF residents are not professionals in.  Anyone over 40 was not born and raised with ANY computer until maybe like age 20!  How on earth could anyone in the older sector ever compete with the youth generation.  Where is any empathy or remorse with the people that are taking over SF?  It seems like they like to argue for their new SF but dont acknowledge any part that they may play in the negative aspects.  Pass the responsibility to the poor victims that they are creating… that seems to be the general attitude i have observed with this new influx.  There is not a lot of respect.  And NO acceptance for diversity!  That is what this town is made from.  It is a really sad day. I thank you author for summing up my daily thoughts perfectly.  The ones that dont, will probably never get it….

What do you think the answer to this civic nightmare?  Any thoughts?  I think you get the gist of mine if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time!… Thanks for reading!

Inside (and in site) the mind of a former heroin addict and gang member… What are these muggers M.O. and motivation?

Not a gang… just a group….

I am sure that you (San Francisco) have heard about the rash of muggings going on in Bernal Heights.  We held our first Bernal Safety neighborhood meeting tonight at Bernal Community Center to get together and exchange information and discuss ideas to help us all stay safe.  The meeting was filled with a lot of information and ideas/suggestions most of which i am sure will be well outlined on http://www.bernalwood.wordpress.com by morning (if not, i will write a post in the morning with the update, because tonight, i want to give you this inside scoop).

After the meeting, i went home and got a call from a friend.  We began talking about what was going on and i gave him the basic low down.  This friend of mine did not used to be the way he is today and he tells me matter of fact that i would NOT have liked him at ALL if i would have met him back then.  Not many people did.

Back then, my friend was a bad heroin addict and was a legitimate gang member.  He had a bad habit and was not unfamiliar with violence and crime.  This is some of the things he says he feels about these perps.  Mind you, these are just his insights and opinions not the iron truth about the perpetrators.  However knowing him, he is probably pretty close to right on target….  Let the information begin….

  • The first thing that he told me was that they are probably taking the money to flip it to buy drugs to flip that to make bigger money.  Most likely there is a drug connection.
  • He is really insistant on this one… they are most likely NOT affiliated with a gang.  In the gangs, blacks and hispanics do not inter-mingle.  In fact, there is a lot of bad blood between the two races in the gangs. So he thinks that they are NOT gang affiliated but just 3 guys that most likely are….
  • Living here and are probably NATIVE San Francisco-ers.  They know this city and the neighborhood too well.  The nooks and crannies.  That tells that they have spent a lot of years tooling around the city streets and feel right at home here on main OR small streets.
  • They probably live near Bernal… possibly in the lower lying lands.  Most likely in a rougher neighborhood where illegal activity and violence are an every day thing for them to see since they were small.  This is their world and their lifestyle.  Crime is what pays when getting a job out there is virtually impossible (especially if you dropped out of high school or come from an impoverished neighborhood that does not show opportunities to its youth the way wealthy and affluent neighborhoods seem to.. (and even those neighborhoods kids are having a hard time not to mention the adults).
  • He said that he really doubts that they want to shoot and kill anyone.  They dont want to increase the incarceration time involved with a murder if caught.  The violence or threat of violence does enough.  They still accomplish their goal.  If they wanted to kill somebody they would have by now.   I questioned this since they most likely are the same ones that shot the guy in the hand at 30th and mission last week and pistol whipped a victim.  But he remains very insistant on this not being the case.  He says not because they have feelings about taking a life but because the consequences involved if caught.  (that makes more sense).
  • My friend said that his options to come up if he was dope sick and needed drugs was either to steal it or to sell his body.  He chose the first but he said

    “I did what i needed to do when i was dope sick on heroine.  Robbing people was an easy way for me to do that. “

  • They are probably living in a very poor native neighborhood where crime is an every day happening.  It is a way of life.  Poverty and drug abuse and violence is a way of life.  They are probably living in or near the projects and most likely have an (at least one) abusive parent(s). 

There you have it folks.  From the mouth of someone who (seriously regrets his actions as a youth) has lived it first hand.

It is also something to think about… People can change.  People can make better lives and choices for themselves.  People are often just a product of their environment and until we have walked a day in someone else’s shoes, we really could not know what it is like to have to live their life.  Anyone can make a change for the better in their lives.  I personally know someone who managed the impossible and did so. He corrects me and says he is still IN the process of DOING so.

I say… good for him!

By the way.  I am so glad that i still live in a true old school mentality of neighborhoods.  It feels like it used to.  I love the fact that we are all working together.  Strength in numbers and knowledge is power.  You are AWESOME BERNAL!!

Why is witnessing vulnerability so interesting to us?

I have a few thoughts…

Maybe it makes us see we are not alone,

Its not projected in society (we keep that shit private!)

May not be accepted in this era of never fail and never fear.

Like Brein Brown says, is it confused with weakness?  And if so, why and when does it cross that line?

May be painful to see emotions that we can recognize and empathize with.

It may just look crazy and unusual psychosis seems fascinating to most.

It may depend on how much understanding ones self has on issues with vulnerability and the human mind/emotion machine

Or to compare the others ‘infraction’ to the severity of their own (unless a sociopath of course!) and weigh in on wether they themselves are within the acceptability levels of modern society.

Maybe it is to test ourselves to see if we are truly seeing vulnerability or it is someone manipulating vulnerability?

……………………..

Also regarding the manipulation of vulnerability… if it is being done, is it being done consciencely or unconsciencely?  If unbeknownst to the vulnerable one, is it really defering it to avoid revealing their true vulnerability?

……………………..

How much vulnerability is acceptable to show ourselves vs. the outside world.

I know i am much more real with myself than i would like the world to know about.  The way societal views come in and out of fashion so quickly, will one revealing their vulnerabilities end up being shamed down the road & having it come back to haunt them? Making  THEM the one that is then not accepted by society, when while behaving this way back then, it was perfectly normal.

Is it just perspective and point of view as well as personal beliefs and experiences that decide what way we take seeing anothers vulnerabilities?  Or maybe it has more to do with how we feel about ourselves at that very moment as to how we feel towards seeing in a state of vulnerability.

I am still not too sure.  Where is the line between having empathy for someone’s wrong doings vs. judging and writing them off for those acts?  It is a very interesting thing for me to ponder….

 

On such a day of thanks, How could it be that one of my dearest friends Reid Gilbert passes away when he is in the prime of his life?

 

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loss 2012

  On Christmas night.  Right after finishing a lovely Christmas dinner with my dad and 3 of his friends, i receive the news.  Reid is dead.  What?!!?  NO!!  How on earth could this happen?

Reid and his boyfriend John Fox have been 2 of my closest and dearest friends for almost 20 years.  They moved to Mexico two years ago after Reid’s brother (who was living in Mexico) went missing and was later found to be murdered.  In the process of looking for his brother, Reid fell in love with the community that his brother had decided to call home for 21 years.  After dealing with a lot of paperwork and legal tangles here in the states, John and Reid ended up moving down to the community that his brother had made his own.  They had been down there for a little over a year.

We dont know what the cause of death is (possibly a blood clot from some small surgery to his toes 2 days prior.  Regardless, he passed in his sleep while staying with John at his mom’s house.

When someone asks you… do you know anyone who has a perfect relationship?  Most of the answers will be no.  However, i did have one.  One perfect pairing that lasted from start to finish for 21 years.  This is John and Reid.   They found each other early on in life and decided to be together then and there.  Since then, they have formed a bond so tightly that they worked almost more as a single unit.  They perfectly complimented each other.  There was never a time where some other person put their relationship at risk.  They loved being a couple.  They were one.

How John will go on with the last half of his life?  It is going to be tough i am sure.  They planned on being together for much MUCH longer than this!  John is strong though.  He was the one that was more of the anchor and i am glad that it is him and not the other way around that has to pick up the pieces because i dont know if Reid could have if the tables were turned.

So on this season of thanks, i have to thank you Reid Gilbert.  You brought this world so much happiness.  You were one of the very best ones one could find.  Even if you did not know Reid, we all have lost a giving loving soul.  He was an amazing person who will be missed so much for so long.

So, for me, although the world did not stop for us all on Dec. 21, 2012, It did stop for Reid, and in turn, our lives (those who knew him) have ended an era as well.

I LOVE YOU REID GILBERT!  I HOPE YOU CAN SEE FROM ABOVE, THE POSITIVE IMPACT YOUR LIFE HAS MADE ON SO MANY AND THAT YOU ARE AT PEACE.  THANK YOU!!  I miss you so!

Seems to be an anomaly to be spending my delayed flight with a bunch of pencils!

In this day of technology, we don’t do many manual things to pass time besides reading & sleeping & eating. After not having my computer for so long, the first thing I did was pull it open. That worked until I just got another delay notice. Time to find my gate & visit the loo. After changing out of my wet (from getting caught in the rain earlier) clothes and freshening up, I found my gate… And it was packed! I found this table kinda in the middle but at the same time out of the way. For this stretch, I wanted to DO something! (Anything to alleviate the urge to want to smoke!). So, I pulled out a drawing l started a couple days ago. Our dear reader Katykins suggested that I take a picture of some of the stuff I have been working on. So, I give u a 2 in 1. My drawing (unfinished!) AND the airport! Hope u all have a fantastic. Holiday!!

Xoxo.
Blue.

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One of the reasons i love San Francisco but especially Bernal Heights….

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Stencil of SF Giants pitcher Brian Wilson.

Stencil of SF Giants pitcher Brian Wilson.

Graffiti PURPOSELY PLACED on a home on the west slope of Bernal. I believe that our neighborhood has either 3 or 4 of these stencils up. They are done by an artist from Oakland (aka the old sf!)… Hopefully Wilson will have completely recovered from the Tommy Johns surgery and he is impressing Bocce a LOT… enough for us to offer him a competitive contract. Because at this point, Mr. Wilson is a free agent. How could we lose the beard that we all should fear?? What will i wear on game day??!! Dilemmas! Oh well, i am going to enjoy my bearded misfit champion team with Brian Wilson a part of the mismatched symphony of players and hope for the best!