For the first time EVER it is Brother Vs. Brother going head to head for the Super Bowl… Now, that is a golden family!

 

3 February, 2013 ...item 2b.. Super Bowl 2013 ...

3 February, 2013 …item 2b.. Super Bowl 2013 Predictions: Ravens vs. 49ers in Super Bowl 47 (27 – 24) — become a #MaddenInsider …item 3.. Super Bowl Recipe: Bacon and Shrimp Dip by Danny Serfer (Jan. 30 2013) … (Photo credit: marsmet481)

Have you ever met anyone who is part of a family that just seems to have it all.  Looks, personality, success and repeating success within any one industry?  I would say that the Williams sisters are within tennis.  The Kennedy’s are within politics.  The Barrymores are within acting.  You get the picture.

These families are rare.  Not many families do all of its members (or most) have success throughout and within one profession.  We could go on for a couple of hours thinking of who others are and there are some, but not too many.  Because if there were, you would personally know at least one.  Most of us do not.

This year the name Harbaugh will have to be added to this super-talent family list.  And in a big way, because they accomplished something that has never been done before.

To start with, Jim and John (sons of Jack) are the first two brothers EVER to be head coach of an NFL team  On top of that, for the first (and maybe last) time ever, THEY WILL BE BATTLING FOR THE SUPPER BOWL!!  That is right.  It is bro vs. bro for the whole shebang!

Jim which is the younger brother of Jack, was recruited from being Stanford’s head coach to sign a 5 year deal with the San Francisco 49ers in 2011.  The first year as the 9ers head coach, he lead them to the NFC championship game, where they lost in a 20-17 overtime score, keeping them out of the Super Bowl for that first year.

This year Jim Harbaugh leads the 49ers to a win over the Atlanta Falcons for the NFC Championship game with a final score 28-24 thus sending them on to the Super Bowl.

Jim’s brother John is bringing his Baltimore Ravens to the Super Bowl by having beaten the Patriots this year (which is the team that they lost to in the AFC Championship game last year.).  The Ravens have been one of the teams that can get it done showing so by the fact that they went to the Playoffs 9 times since 2000.

Both Jim and John have had football in their lives due to the fact that their dad, Jack is the head coach for U of Michigans football team.

SO… A whole entire family of coaches (also to mention, Jacks son-in law, Tom Crean is the head mens basketball coach for Indiana University Hoosiers), how on earth does one within the family pick a team to cheer for.

Who ever would think that a family would be in a situation to have this dilema.  Does this show the truth in favorites or would this create any family tension or just complete family pride?

I tell you, i would love to be a fly on the wall when this family sees one another for the first time after the game.  To be so happy for one and so sad for the other would maybe make one feel a bit crazy.  I bet that there is some guilt and jealousy involved in the whole thing wether or not they want and or try to have there be. But also a load of support and honor as well, for both!

I dont know if i will ever in the rest of my life see the stars align to allow Brother vs. Brother for the biggest game of the year in the USA.

I personally (being a San Francisco native,) must pick my dear 49ers to win.  And actually i only really care about them winning this game, this year.  Next year they can lose.  I dont give a shit.

They must win this year because this is the VERY LAST YEAR that they are playing as TRUE SAN FRANCISCO 49ers.  Next year they may be called SF 49ers, but we will all know that they will really be the Santa Clara 49ers.  No more Candlestick park, No more SF local team.  No more playing for the working man.  No.  When they move, the only people who will be able to afford tickets to their new Santa Clara Stadium will be the same group of arrogant aholes that are forcing out the local SF population for high rent and high tech wages.  It is all just another playtime for the rich.

But not this year.  This year they are STILL ours… That is SAN FRANCISCO’s 49ers. And what a way to end an era of SF football… With a Super Bowl win against the Ravens (which wont be an easy win if we do!).

SO GO 9ers!!  Please do it for all of the steadfast old time fans that have been there for you for your duration.  We will be so proud and it will be a gift of thank you to us.  That is the least you could do since you are ditching us.   Right??

 

What is up with the arrogant attitudes of the new influx of San Francisco residents towards those that they are displacing? Even the mayor’s!

The SFBG (San Francisco Bay Guardian) wrote the most dead on point article on SF’s housing crisis and Mayor Ed Lee’s acknowledgement of it (as well as partial cause).  It is so well written that i am including  it in its entirety.   Thank you SFBG!!

Ed Lee’s State of the City: What evictions? What displacement?

01.28.13 – 12:54 pm | Tim Redmond |

(13)

Mayor Ed Lee punctuated his State of the City speech with a nice little quip: “Every San Franciscan deserves a clean, safe place to call home.” I agree.

So why, in a speech lasting more than an hour, did the mayor not once mention that thousands of San Franciscans are facing the loss of their homes — and will be forced out of the city — because of the same policies that he’s proudly promoting?

These things are always self-congratualtory and full of the requisite bullshit. But Lee’s description of the State of the City was nothing more than a fantasy to the two-thirds of San Franciscans who live in rental housing, many of whom are living with an unacceptable level of insecurity. Much of the city’s rental stock — and the effectiveness of rent control — is at risk at speculators are buying up properties, tossing the tenants out with the Ellis Act, and converting them to tenancies in common. This is a massive civic crisis, brought on in part by the boom in tech jobs and the consequent boom in high-paid young people who want to live in a city that has virtually no vacant housing.

We saw this before, under Mayor Willie Brown; we called it the Economic Cleansing of San Francisco. It was awful, and it’s happening again.

But you wouldn’t know that to hear the mayor completely ignore the issue.

Oh, Lee gave it a toss-off line; gee, the rent is too high, but we can’t ignore the laws of supply and demand. Gee, we’re going to build 45,000 new housing units, and that will fix everything.

But Lee, of all people, ought to know that housing in San Francisco has never followed the laws of supply and demand. This is a highly irregular market, because demand is essentially unlimited. Housing fills us as fast as you build it. And none of the new housing that’s currently under construction or in the pipeline will be affordable to current SF residents who live in rent-controlled units and are at risk for eviction.

When you’re evicted under the Ellis Act in San Francisco today, to make room for someone with more money, you wind up having to leave the city. That’s the bottom line. And everywhere you turn, tenants are facing that ugly prospect.

The mayor spent much of his time talking about jobs. That’s fine; he’s proud that the unemployment rate in the city has fallen to 6.5 percent, but he insists he won’t rest until everyone has a job. Actually, most economists would say that’s impossible; capitalism, by its nature, exists with a structural unemployment rate that rarely falls below 4 percent. In fact, 4 percent is generally considered “full employment.”

More important, the overall rate is 6.5 percent, but it’s way higher for people without college degrees, for youth, and for African Americans. (It’s above 50 percent for transgender people.) The tech boom isn’t providing jobs for all of the unemployed current San Francisco residents; a lot of the jobs are going to people who don’t live here and are moving here for employment. They are putting pressure on the existing housing stock. That always leads to displacement.

None of this is to say that tech jobs are bad or that we shouldn’t have companies that pay high wages locate in San Francisco. What it means is that the city first has to protect its existing vulnerable populations — and that’s not happening.

I would encourage Mayor Lee to talk to the Housing Rights Committee, or the Tenderloin Housing Clinic, or any of the other tenant lawyers who are fighting desperately every day to state off evictions. He’d get a very different picture of the state of the city.

I of course can not NOT comment on a topic i have such a personal interest and stake in (I have seen this happen twice now in 20 years all being within the last 12.)
A commenter wrote… (and annon. of course… CHICKEN!)…

but it will be a significant help for those at the margin.

Some migration of low-income SF’ers from SF to Oakland ir probably natural, helpful and desirable.

This short sentence really irked me.  BADLY.  It is this smug attitude that this new migration is brimming with and it really makes me steam.   Here is my response…

That is… EXCEPT when it is your turn to be forced out of the place you have contributed to and called your home for 20, 40 or 60 years.  Then you will probably leave out that last word and maybe the term “helpful” as well.  Then you will know that every word that the author just wrote is DEAD ON TARGET.  If you think there is a problem with what the author is saying, i would bet anyone $100 that you have not lived in SF for more than 10 years and more likely only around 1-4 years.  YOU are the displacers!  Dont you see?  Do you feel any empathy to what pain you are causing good people that are losing their livelyhoods because you are here now and are working in a new field that many reg. SF residents are not professionals in.  Anyone over 40 was not born and raised with ANY computer until maybe like age 20!  How on earth could anyone in the older sector ever compete with the youth generation.  Where is any empathy or remorse with the people that are taking over SF?  It seems like they like to argue for their new SF but dont acknowledge any part that they may play in the negative aspects.  Pass the responsibility to the poor victims that they are creating… that seems to be the general attitude i have observed with this new influx.  There is not a lot of respect.  And NO acceptance for diversity!  That is what this town is made from.  It is a really sad day. I thank you author for summing up my daily thoughts perfectly.  The ones that dont, will probably never get it….

What do you think the answer to this civic nightmare?  Any thoughts?  I think you get the gist of mine if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time!… Thanks for reading!

Inside (and in site) the mind of a former heroin addict and gang member… What are these muggers M.O. and motivation?

Not a gang… just a group….

I am sure that you (San Francisco) have heard about the rash of muggings going on in Bernal Heights.  We held our first Bernal Safety neighborhood meeting tonight at Bernal Community Center to get together and exchange information and discuss ideas to help us all stay safe.  The meeting was filled with a lot of information and ideas/suggestions most of which i am sure will be well outlined on http://www.bernalwood.wordpress.com by morning (if not, i will write a post in the morning with the update, because tonight, i want to give you this inside scoop).

After the meeting, i went home and got a call from a friend.  We began talking about what was going on and i gave him the basic low down.  This friend of mine did not used to be the way he is today and he tells me matter of fact that i would NOT have liked him at ALL if i would have met him back then.  Not many people did.

Back then, my friend was a bad heroin addict and was a legitimate gang member.  He had a bad habit and was not unfamiliar with violence and crime.  This is some of the things he says he feels about these perps.  Mind you, these are just his insights and opinions not the iron truth about the perpetrators.  However knowing him, he is probably pretty close to right on target….  Let the information begin….

  • The first thing that he told me was that they are probably taking the money to flip it to buy drugs to flip that to make bigger money.  Most likely there is a drug connection.
  • He is really insistant on this one… they are most likely NOT affiliated with a gang.  In the gangs, blacks and hispanics do not inter-mingle.  In fact, there is a lot of bad blood between the two races in the gangs. So he thinks that they are NOT gang affiliated but just 3 guys that most likely are….
  • Living here and are probably NATIVE San Francisco-ers.  They know this city and the neighborhood too well.  The nooks and crannies.  That tells that they have spent a lot of years tooling around the city streets and feel right at home here on main OR small streets.
  • They probably live near Bernal… possibly in the lower lying lands.  Most likely in a rougher neighborhood where illegal activity and violence are an every day thing for them to see since they were small.  This is their world and their lifestyle.  Crime is what pays when getting a job out there is virtually impossible (especially if you dropped out of high school or come from an impoverished neighborhood that does not show opportunities to its youth the way wealthy and affluent neighborhoods seem to.. (and even those neighborhoods kids are having a hard time not to mention the adults).
  • He said that he really doubts that they want to shoot and kill anyone.  They dont want to increase the incarceration time involved with a murder if caught.  The violence or threat of violence does enough.  They still accomplish their goal.  If they wanted to kill somebody they would have by now.   I questioned this since they most likely are the same ones that shot the guy in the hand at 30th and mission last week and pistol whipped a victim.  But he remains very insistant on this not being the case.  He says not because they have feelings about taking a life but because the consequences involved if caught.  (that makes more sense).
  • My friend said that his options to come up if he was dope sick and needed drugs was either to steal it or to sell his body.  He chose the first but he said

    “I did what i needed to do when i was dope sick on heroine.  Robbing people was an easy way for me to do that. “

  • They are probably living in a very poor native neighborhood where crime is an every day happening.  It is a way of life.  Poverty and drug abuse and violence is a way of life.  They are probably living in or near the projects and most likely have an (at least one) abusive parent(s). 

There you have it folks.  From the mouth of someone who (seriously regrets his actions as a youth) has lived it first hand.

It is also something to think about… People can change.  People can make better lives and choices for themselves.  People are often just a product of their environment and until we have walked a day in someone else’s shoes, we really could not know what it is like to have to live their life.  Anyone can make a change for the better in their lives.  I personally know someone who managed the impossible and did so. He corrects me and says he is still IN the process of DOING so.

I say… good for him!

By the way.  I am so glad that i still live in a true old school mentality of neighborhoods.  It feels like it used to.  I love the fact that we are all working together.  Strength in numbers and knowledge is power.  You are AWESOME BERNAL!!

South Bernal ladies… Be aware! Armed muggings in primetime off of Cortland Ave. (2 incidents in the last 3 days within 3 blocks) **UPDATED!

2 muggings off and on Cortland Ave. in the last 3 days.

***UPDATE***

We have a description of a vehicle thanks to neighbor and victim Miranda.  Here is her words for you to hear and be on the watch for!  Once again, thanks Miranda…

MirandaJan 27, 4:32 pm

“I am a victim from november and from one it sounds like onr of the originals. I will be there tonight and i really hope there are police officers there.”

…That there is the neighborhood meeting tonight (Sunday) at 7:30 at Martha Brothers Coffee which is on the corner of Cortland & Ellsworth.  Hope they catch them soon!

—bluepearlgirl—

________________________________________________________________________

Ladies (and gentlemen too!), We need to be extra careful when walking in the neighborhood right now.  The last two nights there have been 2 incidents where ladies were held up at gunpoint and robbed.

The scary thing about these robberies is that they both happened at around 8:30-8:45pm! This is prime time people.   Practically still daylight!

The first incident happened two nights ago (tuesday) at about 8:30pm, a group of four ladies were walking on Cortland Ave. and were held up at gunpoint around in front of Taco Los Altos.  They were approached by 3 young adults (2 hispanics and 1 black males) were reported to have gotten out of a car (i am sorry, i do not know the make and model).  The ladies were held up and had their money and cel phones and purses taken from them.

Be Safe!

Tonight they struck again.  As i approached the grocery store to buy some dinner, i saw 2 police officers talking with a young well dressed girl right outside the store.  The girl was well put together but clearly shaken.  I inquired inside and was told that she was held at gunpoint as well just one block from the grocery store one block down Andover at Jarboe.  To add insult to injury, not only did they take her purse and phone, but also took her GROCERIES!!  Can you believe the nerve?!

The Good Life Grocery store on Cortland & Andover St.

A last incident that should be noted. There was another incident this week down at 30th and Mission St.  A guy was stopped by 3 young men at around 4am and was held up at gunpoint.  The guy refused to give up his phone and wallet and in the process was shot by the assailants in the hand.  I do not know if this is the same group of kids that preyed on the ladies the last couple days but it sounds pretty similar.  I wouldnt be surprised if it were the same people doing the strong arming.  They are all currently still at large.

An unnamed worker at The Good Life also told me that another thing that he thought these guys seem to be preying on are possibly intoxicated ladies.  I am not sure why he believed this and didnt press him to explain why.  I wish i had though to ask about the vehicle involved but i will look into it and get back to you all with updated information.

Dont be a hero! Be safe!!

Keep your eyes peeled ladies.  If you get stopped by a robber with a weapon, GIVE THEM YOUR ITEMS THEY ARE REQUESTING!  Your stuff can be replaced.  Your life can not!  Walk in well lit places and if at all possible, take one of the one way streets going the opposite way so you can see anyone who is coming toward you.  Put a lock on your phone.  Download a phone tracking/retrieving app (i have findmyiphone and its free!) maybe cary pepper spray and keep your eyes open.

These kids are going to be caught.  Possibly soon.  They are possibly minors and possibly do not have a record so it may take a little longer than one would expect for an adult but these kids are so bold and brazen and prolific that it is just a matter of time before they are caught.  Just keep your eyes and ears open and you are aware of your surroundings.  AND BE SAFE!

**********************************UPDATE**************************************

As it turns out, while witnessing the aftermath of victem number 1 last night, those brazen bastards actually strong arm robbed TWO more times just less than THREE blocks from where the fucking COPS WERE!!  Not only that but after visiting the comments in Bernalwood (http://bernalwood.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/wave-of-muggings-continues-near-cortland-avenue/) It looks like these have been possibly been going on since November and also over in Potrero and Glen Park neighborhoods which makes sense since they are two of our neighboring neighborhoods.  Bottom line folks… If you are just going to the store, only carry what you absolutely need.  Leave the iphone and the whole wallet at home if you are smart.  That way at least they wont get our whole lives in one fell swoop.  Be safe Bernal!  AND KEEP YOUR EYES & EARS OPEN AND OBSERVING YOUR BLOCK!!

Absolutely fabulous long boarding skateboard with awesome views of some of the lesser known parts of San Francisco

Video

Watch this awesome video of skateboarding (long board) in San Francisco with amazing views along the way!

The ABC’s of architecture

Video

Fantastic little video about some of the masters of our modern architecture. I hope you like it!

the timing of the acusations against Michael Crabtree (of the 49ers) seems somewhat fishy to me….

How ironic that someone claims a sexual assault against a player of the 49ers just 2 days before their big division game that determines which team will go on to the Super Bowl. 

Some of the things that seem off are the following….

Timing… the timing of both the alleged attack on Sunday morning (the morning after wining their big playoff game) as well as the timing of when it was reported and Crabtree was taken in for questioning.

Why would anyone be so foolish as to risk their entire career RIGHT before the 2 biggest games of their possible life so far?  Our 9ers pride themselves on behaving with dignity and always have.  This is one of my very favorite traits they have… they are a class act.

The timing of the press release has got to lend to some team distraction which could, in all possibility, throw their game off come Sunday.

My gut instinct is that this is just too convenient and stupid on the players part to be a real claim (if it is, there is nothing i condone about ANY kind of sexual attack.  Don’t get me wrong!) but if it is real, he should be charged with the offense.  IF IT IS NOT LEGITIMATE, Whoever made the false claim, should receive some sort of reprimand. 

This to me looks like a clear sabotage stunt.  Why would they not arrest him otherwise?  Thinking about how some people gamble their life savings on things as stupid as a playoff game, i suppose i could see the desperation in head that could possibly make someone make such false claims.  But to accuse someone of something so socially charged as a sexual assault, they BETTER have the proof and hard evidence to back it up or we need to get to the root of who tried to compromise our team right before the division game. 

I dont like it one little bit!  I smell something fishy!

Originally posted on Where the Dolphins Swim:

This might be one of the best dolphin watching encounters ever! It happened this past weekend out in Southern California. Lucky, lucky passengers! And it is not the first time this has happened in Dana Point, CA.   Apparently, this area of California has an incredibly high concentration of dolphins. Who knew?

Seems like Captain Dave is the go-to guy for dolphin and whale watching out on the West Coast! Enjoy!

 

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bluepearlgirl's world:

Its better to hear it from someone who actually knows about the case… RIP Aaron Swartz!

Originally posted on Unhandled Exception:

I did not know Aaron Swartz, unless you count having copies of a person’s entire digital life on your forensics server as knowing him. I did once meet his father, an intelligent and dedicated man who was clearly pouring his life into defending his son. My deepest condolences go out to him and the rest of Aaron’s family during what must be the hardest time of their lives.

If the good that men do is oft interred with their bones, so be it, but in the meantime I feel a responsibility to correct some of the erroneous information being posted as comments to otherwise informative discussions at Reddit, Hacker News and Boing Boing. Apparently some people feel the need to self-aggrandize by opining on the guilt of the recently departed, and I wanted to take this chance to speak on behalf of a man who can no…

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bluepearlgirl's world:

Since my 9ers ARE playing Green Bay tonight at 8:00pm… I thought i would re-blog this for me if not for all of you!

Originally posted on dominicspoweryoga:

These are the results of the NFL playoffs to date with a bracket of the games leading to the super bowl.  My team “Pittsburgh Steelers” did not make it this year so I watch for the love of the sport without care of who wins and loses.

nfl-brackets-2013

Results of games played to date .

WILD CARD ROUND
Saturday, January 5 4:30 PM Houston 19, Cincinatti 13 NBC
Saturday, January 5 8:00 PM Green Bay 24, Minnesota 10 NBC
Sunday, January 6 1:00 PM Baltimore 24, Indianapolis 9 CBS
Sunday, January 6 4:30 PM Seattle 24, Washington 14 FOX
DIVISIONAL ROUND
Saturday, January 12 4:30 PM Baltimore@Denver CBS
Saturday, January 12 8:00 PM Green Bay@San Francisco FOX
Sunday, January 13 1:00 PM Seattle@Atlanta FOX
Sunday, January 13 4:30 PM Houston@New England CBS
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP
Sunday, January 20 3:00 PM TBA CBS or FOX
6:30 PM TBA CBS or…

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In 26 years, Aaron Swartz had more guts and made a change that we all have to be thankful for. Sad that it was cut short.

Video

You may not know the name Aaron Swartz, but i guarantee that you can be thanking him and a number of others for a multi year battle keeping our beloved internet from being censored.

You may remember a while ago when many websites chose to go black for 24 hours in protest to the bill up in front of congress that at that time they were calling SOPA. It did not pass thanks to the grassroots work that Aaron and his friends did. They managed to do the imposible… Stop a bill that was unopposed from passing in congress.

Anyway, it is so sad to report that Aaron took his life. He was facing a 35 year prison sentence that he was to be reporting into soon. Maybe that was the reason. His family said that he had also always suffered from depression. This doesn’t surprise me. Often brilliant people pay the price on the inside. Regardless to why he took his life. He did so much in the short time he was here.

Take a look at this really nice article that was written about him on the SFist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Fgh2dFngFsg

Other bills will come again he reminded us, so it is up to us to continue to fight for the freedom of speech within the digital realm.

It is too bad we lost a genius like Aaron. But we thank him for all he did do while he was here. He lived a life to be proud of!

SAN FRANCISCO (…

Quote

SAN FRANCISCO (KCBS) – San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors welcomed its two newest members on Tuesday while also re-electing Board President David Chiu.

Chiu was unanimously re-elected after supervisors Jane Kim and Malia Cohen withdrew their nominations. This is his third term as board president. Seen mostly as the board member that leans toward the moderate to conservative side, Chiu was facing potential challenges from Kim and Cohen, but neither could muster the necessary six votes needed to win the majority of the 11-member board. The so-called progressives were helped by an interesting ally, Rose Pak, a close friend of Mayor Ed Lee and Chinatown political powerhouse.

Pak, who had a falling out with Chiu over his decision to run for mayor last year and his opposition to the 8 Washington project, worked to sway the remainder of the board. She already had support from John Avalos and David Campos. But Scott Wiener, who was also seeking the presidency, threw his support behind Chiu and new Supervisor Norman Yee, seen as a key vote, did the same.

Yee and London Breed, the board’s newest supervisors, were sworn-in on Tuesday along with the rest of their colleagues.

You can hear Phil Matier’s comments Monday through Friday at 7:50am and 5:50pm on KCBS All News 740AM and 106.9FM.

(Copyright 2013 by CBS San Francisco. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

bluepearlgirl • a few seconds ago

How is it that Rose Pak is the one in charge of all of our elections? They used to keep her name more behind the scenes but lately, like now… here it is. Unabashedly used to basically tell us what we already know but for those that dont believe it… Here it is in black and white…. the woman who REALLY runs all of SF govt.

 

Why is witnessing vulnerability so interesting to us?

I have a few thoughts…

Maybe it makes us see we are not alone,

Its not projected in society (we keep that shit private!)

May not be accepted in this era of never fail and never fear.

Like Brein Brown says, is it confused with weakness?  And if so, why and when does it cross that line?

May be painful to see emotions that we can recognize and empathize with.

It may just look crazy and unusual psychosis seems fascinating to most.

It may depend on how much understanding ones self has on issues with vulnerability and the human mind/emotion machine

Or to compare the others ‘infraction’ to the severity of their own (unless a sociopath of course!) and weigh in on wether they themselves are within the acceptability levels of modern society.

Maybe it is to test ourselves to see if we are truly seeing vulnerability or it is someone manipulating vulnerability?

……………………..

Also regarding the manipulation of vulnerability… if it is being done, is it being done consciencely or unconsciencely?  If unbeknownst to the vulnerable one, is it really defering it to avoid revealing their true vulnerability?

……………………..

How much vulnerability is acceptable to show ourselves vs. the outside world.

I know i am much more real with myself than i would like the world to know about.  The way societal views come in and out of fashion so quickly, will one revealing their vulnerabilities end up being shamed down the road & having it come back to haunt them? Making  THEM the one that is then not accepted by society, when while behaving this way back then, it was perfectly normal.

Is it just perspective and point of view as well as personal beliefs and experiences that decide what way we take seeing anothers vulnerabilities?  Or maybe it has more to do with how we feel about ourselves at that very moment as to how we feel towards seeing in a state of vulnerability.

I am still not too sure.  Where is the line between having empathy for someone’s wrong doings vs. judging and writing them off for those acts?  It is a very interesting thing for me to ponder….

 

I feel like the end of this year it has been a game of knock down and get back up over and over again.

Woah. It has been quite an eventful and trying end of the year for me this year. From my computer going down for almost 2 months to my dad getting sick and all of the back and forth travel between San Francisco and Las Vegas.

It has been a defeat and then a triumph and then a defeat and then another triumph. It has been such a roller coaster ride!

The reason why i am choosing to bring this up with all of you is because i really thought i was just about to get back into the writing roll here after successfully fixing my computer (finally! and PHEW!!). Things were on the right track. It was only a little bit longer before i had gotten my brain out of its forced writing hiatus. I could feel the blog topics forming in my subconscience.

Then, Christmas night rolled on through with the news that NO ONE saw coming and thus shut my desire and ability to write right back down the rabbit hole again.

I found out that i lost one of my dearest friends….

It has been a long time since i had to actually mourn. In 2007, i lost my kitty of 14 years. It was really rough. It took almost 3 years before i was ready to rescue another one. Then when i was 19, my best friend from 7th grade (and former roommate) committed suicide. I still haven’t gotten over that one. I don’t think i ever will. And finally the last mourning i had done on this scale was when i was in high school, I ran over my dog of 13 years by accident and we had to put him down. (Ironic twist to that story, my mom hits the cat accidentally 2 weeks later, and since we just put the family dog down, my mom decided to plug $2000 into our 13 year old cat that we found hiding on top of my dad’s wheel well in his truck at his job when he was a baby. He was scrappy and had clearly been in a few fights already in his few months of life. We took him home and he and my dog became fast friends and he went on to live to be 16 years old. (funny note: I named him cuddles… i know… i was 6 years old! However, i re-nic-named him night-stalker because he sure was not very cuddly!) However, in retrospect, there was a reason why he had been hit so close to Charley’s death. He lived a miserable life those last years.).

Anyway, since Christmas, i have been nothing but constant tears and disbelief. Usually when someone we know dies, there is a reason for it… they had a weak heart, they were driving in that terrible weather, he has a history of ____ in his family, or he had come down with ____. This time, we dont know the reason for my friend Reid Gilbert’s death. He had some minor surgery on his toes 2 days earlier and they were causing him a lot of pain. The afternoon of the 21st, he laid down for a rest. His partner John went into the living room with Reid’s mom to have some ice cream and talk. John went to check on Reid about an hour later and he was not breathing. He WAS NOT BREATHING??? How can that be?

My friend Reid had more life in him than just about anyone i knew. He was filled with enthusiasm and charisma and so much love. He could talk to anybody. He was so friendly to the point where he almost had no shame in it. He was blissfully unaware how other people often are socially awkward. Reid was somewhat socially awkward, but not when it came to meeting people. He was gifted with words. When his father died, he did a lot of writing but otherwise, those words were expressed through talking. And boy could Reid talk! (maybe that is why we got along so well! lol.)

I have known the boys for almost 18 years, but this last 3 years or so, Reid and i spent a lot of time together. Oh how i did not know what a gift it was back then. We could spend hours talking about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. He was this amazing loving, giving man that i had the honor of knowing and loving for so long.

We dont know why he died. He was not ill or even shown signs of sickness, let alone death. And unfortunately, we will have to most likely wait for a while because our dear coroner is backlogged (we can spend tens of thousands on MLB parades and Mid-Market revitalization, but can not hire enough coroners to autopsy our dead?! Thanks again Mayor Lee… for doing a shitty job!

Anyway, it doesnt really matter why he died. He is gone. That is the reality that i am left with and it has made it almost imposible to write you all because of it.

So if my blog posts are not back on with the same zeal, know why. I am mourning. I can only heal as fast my heart will allow and i appreciate your patience while i am going through this.

Thank you for your patience and understanding!

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(this is Reid on the left with his partner of 21 years John Fox)

Is being alone a bad thing… my consensus… not usually….

For someone who has a whole lot of great friends and a wonderful family and is very social, I just cant seem to understand why i end up spending so much of my time alone.  I am by myself a LOT of the time.  It is not per say by choice, but it just happens to end up that way.  It always has.

Now compared to some people, i am constantly surrounded by people.  These make up my roommates, my neighbors and friends etc.  But i find that they rarely come here to see me.  They enjoy seeing me when they are here and they make an effort of coming all the way to my house, but once they are here, they always end up spending their time with the others here in the house.  It is everyone else that goes out on excursions.  It is me that goes walking alone.

It has kinda always been this way.  I have been a very social person since i was a toddler.  I crave human interaction and find it fascinating to watch people and their interactions with life.

So, let me recap for myself.  I am a social person, i have a lot of people that care about me

Is 2012 truly the mark of a new era setting in or just another year?

When i finally made it here to Las Vegas to see my dad for christmas, after a long mean winter storm hitting just before me having to fly, thus delays of course… My dad said to me… “So we are still here.  I guess those Mayans were wrong!”.

My immediate reply was… “No.  I think that they may have been right.  But i think it is a different kind of end of the world than those have been projecting.  I think it is now an era where we have almost 2+ full generations that have lived exclusively with only technology.  They do not know what the world was like before cordless things and multimedia.  They did not see how a community works together to trade information and form friendships as well as a form of community that no longer can exist when nobody is forced to talk to anyone to receive any piece of information when it can simply be googled. “

I said… that i thought that this is the era where we become closer to being enslaved (again.).  We are having our freedoms taken.. no… GIVEN away to a greed machine that has only one goal….  And you and i having any quality of life does not go well with squeezing out the bottom line drop by drop.

We have been hoodwinked… programed… set up…. We are prime for it.  Our little mega processors in our skulls are definitely programable.  That is after all what helps to  make us so adaptable.  Yes.  We may be crafty enough to have our species survive for a while, but just surviving and living a forced existence through forced behavior, labor and life, (just think Metropolis by Fritz Lang or  Orwell’s 1984.  There are people working on that dream like scenario for us right now!).

I think that for me as well as for society, this has been the golden years.  The dream like ferrie tale has been now.  And i fear is soon to be a memory.

So, if our freedoms and our ability to provide a quality of life for ourselves i