Inspiration Rising from Struggle

bluepearlgirl's world:

Being from San Francisco and living through seeing how the 80′s destroyed so many through AIDS, this is close to my heart. Just think how beautiful it is AND that each little square represents not just 1 person that died but all of the people that loved them to make their quilt. It is moving and beautiful and real. Lets think as well as look when viewing this!

Originally posted on Print Matter:

This past week, the National Mall in Washington DC hosted 48,000 panels of quilt blankets covering 29 acres of land for the AIDS Memorial Quilt project started by the NAMES Project Foundation. With over 50 locations around the DC area, these breathtaking quilts are composed of eight 3′ x 6′ panels (the dimension represents the size of a human grave) sewed together to form a a 12′ x 12′ block.

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It has been kind of a strange week of clarity and epiphanies (or at least new theories!)

I think my brain is shifting into trying to understand some things in a new way.  It has been an interesting week for you if you were my brain.

I remember, when i was 26, i was really at a bad place in my life at that time.  I was suffering from SEVERE depression and such severe anxiety, that i had a hard time keeping food and water down and i could not leave the house.  I would sit for days just crying or stressing out so bad that that would make me start crying and getting really despondent.  At this time i had not had any psychological help and i had no idea what was going on or how serious it was.  I knew i was in a seriously bad place, but i did not know how or if i could get out of it.

The reasons i were in it, seemed obvious at first and they were big and easy ones to blame.  And they WERE to blame! But they were not the only thing i had to blame for me to getting to where i was at that point.  (Just so you know what i kinda mean, in a series of a couple years when i was 19, i went through quite a few unfamiliar situations.  Heavy situations.  At 19, i had lived a fairly strict and protected life as a child and had no experience in dealing with things as big as my best friends suicide, a roommate going crazy, evictions, death of grandma which put my dad into a bad depression that became at that time projected onto me.  etc.. Since then, it hasn’t stopped.  I have been through a bevy of unpleasant or unexpected and often life altering situations since then. I feel like I have been through it all (Not all!  Thank god! But unusually strangely large amount of nightmares since my 20′s.  I won’t bore you with more of my sorry ass tales
, but it has been quite an interesting last 2 decades with as many stories to match.)  I think it is to even out my great childhood..  It better be at least!)

Anyway, there was this week when i was 26 years old.  Nothing was better or had happened to trigger it, but i had this one week that i call my week of epiphanies.  I had this amazing brain thing happening where all of a sudden, something that i didn’t even know i was wondering was understood and that actually had a huge impact of relevance  to what i WAS actually thinking i needed to figure out.

It was like, i was so focused on the problems that i was trying to solve, i never even thought about why i had these problems in the first place.  The obvious i had thought was the culprit but strangely, it went way WAY deeper than that.

It happened again in 2008.  All of these questions that i had been mulling through my brain for years were like poof!  solved.  I got it.  I would have never thought of that  being the answer.   And that time, it  turned out that the answer was actually the question!  It was so crazy that week!

The only other thing i can compare it too is those damn 3d posters that i thought were a hoax to try and see how many people they could get to gullibly stare at a boring poster for 45 minutes, until… you see it!  WOAH!  Was that there that whole time?  How can i not have seen it?  It was right there and I SEE IT!!  Amazing!

That is kinda like what i am experiencing this week.  Maybe it is my grandma’s passing, my family reunion, my 38th birthday and my 20 year high school reunion, not to mention ending a relationship.  Maybe my brain is getting some perspective on things and am doing some brain sorting.   Anyway, when i do figure out  what it is that i am now in understanding of, i will try and let you know.  In the mean time, please excuse me if you see a few brain blabbing posts this week.  I know what i now understand, trying to express it in words, well, we will see….!

Epiphanies, bring it on!  I am ready for you! Even if it is not on a 12 year cycle!

:)

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You have got to see these multi-purpose furniture pieces! They are so clever and space saving!

I just love me a two-for!  These pieces that i found through Curbed.com at Freshome.com are really cool and worth a look!

 

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One of my favorite things is when i get to see cross-species friendships! Dont judge a book by its cover. You never know who you might end up being friends with!

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Who says that a dog and deer cant be best buddies!

Just because it is a color wheel, doesn’t mean that it is a good (accurate) color wheel! You would be surprised how many bad ones that are out there.

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THE GOOD…

Just because it is a color wheel, doesn't mean that it is a good (accurate) color wheel!  You would be surprised how many bad ones that are out there.

These are fairly good examples of a decent color wheels.

 

THE BAD…

 

 

 

 

For the untrained eye, all of these color wheels look, well, like a color wheel does… or maybe we think should look.  However, not all color wheels are alike.  Infact, it is a lot harder to find a really good color wheel than one would think.

It may take actually making a color wheel yourself for one to understand just how tough making a really accurate one can be.

The places that i find get into trouble the most are between the yellow and yellow-green first.  It is really quite difficult to get yellow to step smoothly into green due to it being the lightest color in value on the color scale.

So, not too surprisingly the other place i often find gets botched is in yellow to yellow-orange. Again, it is so easy to just take it from yellow into a much more valued yellow-orange.

Sometimes they do great throughout the whole green to orange section but then comes blue and it goes all choppy again.

In a color wheel, no one color should look largely different in value to either color next to it.  There should be no big steps from one color to another and no big blocks  that stand out apart from the whole wheel.

This is my little lesson on choosing the right color wheel.  You never know when you might need this kind of in depth color wheel knowledge!   Go ahead… show up your friends now that you know what a good color wheel should look like!  It can become a game like it does me… the search for accurate color wheels… Like spotting a dodo bird almost!

:)

If you have not seen the most EPIC stunt driving in San Francisco, EVER… Then meet Ken Block.

This video has stirred conversation about it throughout several different groups of friends of mine that are totally unrelated.  That means in my world… “chatter”.  And anything that has got this kind of chatter in my life, deserves to be shared.  What you are about to see is simply incredible!  Topics of conversation about this video has ranged from how one can actually drift like that, to what time of the day they must have shot it to get the permits to close those roads, to how much insurance had to be had in order to make this happen.  Regardless of the chatter, it is an AWESOME thing to watch.  This guy has gotten himself some serious SKILLS!!  Ken Block… You truly are one hell of a driver!  Thank you for not destroying our city like so many others without your skills have!

Newest ponder, where on earth does one hone skills like these?  Probably grew up in snow! ;)

Enjoy!  I am again!

:)

if the video did not post, follow the link, it will not lead you astray!

When you feel silly getting all dressed up to impress the one you are seeking attention from, you are not alone!

I often like to see examples of animals doing animal things.  And knowing that the reason they are doing it is a universal drive we all do.  Then i like to see how much of us (humans) really are still just animals.  There may be more plastic and paint in our species, but it happens all the same.  Beauty is beautiful whatever species you are, and for some strange reason, every single one of us are drawn to beauty.  Maybe we are not the only ones.  I personally think that no one can ever EVER do it better than Mother Nature and this is my example.  Birds of paridise… aint no joke!  So f@*^%ing beautiful!  I think they know it too ;).

My second favorite Sony Bravia Ads. This one is called paint.

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Sony Bravia Paint

Sony Bravia Paint

Since today is my birthday AND i re-installed a new system OS, i thought i would celebrate by posting this Sony Bravia add. Not as cool as their paint and their balls adds, but equally as beautiful! I think you all will like this one too. Enjoy!

There, I fixed it! Motorcycle win on the 505 south in calif.

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Photos of Ashland Oregon’s Lithia park

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From my family reunion. Beautiful work McClaren sure does. This park though much smaller still has the quaint wonderland feel that his claim to fame Golden Gate Park has. Really lovely! Could get lost here for days!

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It is a travel day again for me, but OH SO MUCH BETTER with no airport security!

Ashland Oregon

 

What a week…..  I just must start with that.  It has been what was aiming up to be the most stressful pre-trip week ever.  However, somehow, this time, it all (knock knock on wood!!) went so surprisingly easy!  Let me just tell you, it is a whole lot easier on my psyche to not have to pack and dress for a flight.

Not having to go through the security with the possibility of  being strip searched is wonderful, but, not as wonderful as being able to take liquids and 2 bags of any weight is even better!

This week i am going to my family reunion up in Ashland Oregon.  I have been really looking forward to it even though i was the only one that (due to living in San Francisco and not needing a car) had to figure out how to get up there by today.

This time i was bound and determine to do whatever it took to not have to ride a greyhound for hours to get there.  And, this time, it actually worked!  What worked you ask?  Craigslist ride share is what worked.  By friday, i had secured a ride (thank you Dusty!) and over the next 3 days, i received another 5 or 6 offers from some that i had emailed from their posts, and some that responded to my own post on Ridejoy.

$20-$30 to get to Oregon?  That seems unbeatable to me!  I could not have done it any cheaper or any more comfortably.  I am also given the chance to get to know an Ashland local during the drive so i should have all of the inside information on the best secret squirrel spots in Ashland.

In this economy of ours, we have to start looking at ways to save money doing those things that we are used to being able to just pay for.  Rideshare was a perfect example of that.  I know it is not ideal for everyone, (those with bikes, babies, dogs, lots of people, your whole family etc.)  but, for a single girl who is on a very limited budget, it gives a way to save some money and a chance to meet some new people. Not to mention a direct path without thousands of intermittent stops making the drive WAY too long!

Hopefully we arrive to Oregon safely and quickly and the rest of the trip (including figuring out a plan back!) goes as smoothly as getting there does!  Knock Knock on wood!

I am bringing up both of my computers so that hopefully i can continue to write a post a day for you all.  I will explain later why there have to be 2… but that is another nightmare story for another time.

Right now it is time to get dressed, zip up my bags and play and brush out my kitty before i leave.  He i think does better than me during our separation.  So i must get extra kitty loving in before putting him in the good care of my old roommate.  He will probably like her better by the time i get back because she has got the long nails to scratch behind the ears with!

Well i had better not waist too much more time here… Time to pack it up and hit the road!

Hope your weekend was as easy as mine and i hope your week is as wonderful as i hope mine to be.

Au Revoir fine readers!