Is this the world's fattest cat? Sponge Bob tips the scales at a massive 33 lbs... and he's on a diet!

Reblogged from Bizarre World News:

Click to visit the original post

The ginger tom, who tipped the scales at 33lbs, is the spitting image of out-of-shape Puss in Boots from hit film Shrek the Third. Greedy Sponge Bob, aged 9, who weighs the same as a four-year-old child, is on a strict diet and fitness regime at the animal shelter where he lives.

looks like my friend's cat Arlington weighing in a competitive 31 lbs is not in first place now. I thought there was a chance since the Guiness book of world record heaviest cat who weighed in at 30lbs. died a couple months ago. Looks like Arlington has a couple more lbs. needed to be at the top of the weight chart! But i think he just may... stay tuned!

Photography by Emelie Koshland

Video

It has been several years since i have watched this video that i made back in the late 2005-2006ish. Some things that these photos contain are San Francisco, some of the quirky things i see here, Highway 1 at devils slide before the last big slide, Pacifica, Infineon Raceway in Sonoma (that is my dad), Tiburon, Capitola, and 2 token Portland, Or. (snow), the De Young Museum (both the pre opening.. thats my dad walking away in the one. He is on the wall of donors too!) and the 48 hour public re-opening that went all day and night and day and night) as well as Dale Chihuly’s amazing glass retrospective, and my garden, and probably other things that i can not remember. I hope you like it! Most of these were taken on a little canon digital camera or my cel phone. No retouching unless it was sideways! :)

A drive back in time to 1992 Central Freeway in San Francisco. Pun intended.

Video

I remember back in the day, you could get from the Haight to Broadway St. or Mission Rock in like 5 minutes. I voted 2 x for the funds to retrofit it. I dont know where the first or second set of funds ever went considering that it passed 2x, they tore it down. I think i would have to ask good ole Willie Brown first and about how much all of those hats cost! Hmmmm.

Smoke Break #957: 101 Ways To Open A Bottle Of Beer (Includes Your Belly Button) : Scout Magazine

Reblogged from Quieter Elephant:

Not so sure about the belly button, and I've definitely eaten pizza like that when I was a student...

Smoke Break #957: 101 Ways To Open A Bottle Of Beer (Includes Your Belly Button) : Scout Magazine.

Now, i hate to be a total re-blogger, but this is a must see. I think i could watch this in slow motion and about 10x! It is amazing to see how stylish some of these methods are. Makes me want to hang out with those guys!!

While we are on cats i am going to give you a super cute infusion.

Video

It is an oldie but a goodie! I love the chaos that surrounds and how perfect his position on his bed is. Right front and center!

My really Really bad day… part 2.

So, so far today, things have seemed to have reversed back to the hopefully smooth with good planning day with a little bit of smooth working luck.  A far cry from yesterday!

My day ended after a visit to my local dispensary (which i truly think is the one main thing apart from it being a beautiful and fairly warm non windy / foggy day that allowed me to get through it).  After sitting down for a few minutes and watching the Celtics vs. Miami game in the first quarter.  After chitchating about how tough it has got to be for all of the big basketball sized guys who were not born with gazelle like coordination with the guy that worked there, i left.  (I had a roommate like this who was 6’6″ and wore a size 16 shoe but had absolutely no coordination.  Poor guy!).

Anyway, i proceed to Big Lots where i quickly gobble up the items i needed (which happened to be things like laundry detergent and dish soap and condiments and bread mix etc.  Not light things.)  I decided that i would shop heavy and take the bus up to the top of the hill.  I threw my back out the day before and re-injured it that morning and was not taking any chances ascending 400 feet in less than 3 blocks with 4 heavy bags.

I was not in a hurry and knew that patience on a day this that was going to be the only thing that will allow me to get through it unscathed.  I walk out of Big Lots and check my Routsey app to see when the next MUNI was expected.  It said 22 minutes.

22 minutes eeh.  I have to walk a block and a half to the bus stop which would take about as long in minutes and then i got a good 19+ minutes to enjoy the sunset.

The bus stop is in front of the gas station on 30th and Mission, opposite the Walgreens. When the gas station changed hands about a year ago, a 7-11 went in.  This is a fantastic thing to come into this part of town.. Slurpees and good coffee and cheap(ish) cigarettes… a good combo!

I decided that this would be a perfect time to get myself a cup of coffee or hot chocolate for my nice late afternoon break/bus wait.  I set down my bags and proceed to make myself the most perfect afternoon cup of hot chocolate coffee!  It had it all!  1/2 & 1/2 a mocha creamer and a white chocolate creamer, a little sugar and 4 packets of non dairy creamer along with a good 2/3 colombian roast!  It looked to be the perfect dessert cup of afternoon coffee!  I paid and went to the bus stop.  There is a concrete shelf/wall/bench that holds the plantings in behind the bus stop that makes for a perfect little squat while waiting for the 24.  

Without ever taking a sip of the coffee, I go on knock it to the ground where it showered my foot and the right lower half of my body as well as the sidewalk.  I never got a taste.  I started to laugh.  I should have known.  It was visibly apparent that this was just another event in my highly jinxed day.  That was the prelude to the final injustice.  The 6 block MUNI experience (i can not bring myself to call it a ride.  It was so much more!  It only took about an hour and 10 minutes or so to get there.  Let me tell you.

note the flip flop

Ok.  sitting there with my spilled coffee and incredibly stick shoe and my bags of stuff.  I start talking with a couple of other locals about the egregious rental inflations and gentrification of the city which was good and bonding.  We needed this to maintain our victimized insanity that would soon unfold.

some of the cool locals in this MUNI mess with me.  and below, my bags remained unscathed!  Yea!

Ok.  Bus #1… The 22 minute bus.  I had been waiting for 22 minutes at about 5:45pm so needless to say, there were quite a few of us getting on.  It is also a big unboarding stop for the 24.  It is the last stop before it goes up and over Bernal to the Bayview so people who live east board, people who have come from Divisadero & Castro street usually most of them unboard here.  After awaiting the bus to unload, we start to board.  We get about 1/2 boarded and the driver tells us to unboard because he is taking that bus offline.  Another bus will be there soon.  He didnt know how long.

I descend the steps of the bus and in doing so, proceed to pull apart my flipflop at the toe.  Lucky for me though it was so sticky that it stuck to my goddamn foot and i made it back to the concrete bench.

I look on my Routsey app again and it says 5 min. and 6 min. are the next busses to be arriving.  I looked at that 6 min. bus but got once again caught up in conversation so when the 5 min. bus arrived, i got on it.

A wheel chair boarded and while this was happening, the 6 minute bus blazes around us.  I dont even know if he stopped at that stop.  I knew i should have tried to get on that bus!  So now the #3 bus was in position #2.  #1 was heading back to the barn.

We get the wheel chair guy boarded and proceed to wait.  And wait.  We probably were loaded onto the bus waiting for at least 8 stop light rotations.  A LONG time.  Finally the bus doors close and we wait about another minute and FINALLY finally turn the corner from 30th onto Mission.

We only go one block and turn left onto Cortland st… or so it was expected to.  We turn the corner and get maybe 2 bldgs. past the gas station and there is BUS #1 STOPPED ON THE SIDE!!  We couldnt believe it.  We pull up behind the first bus instead of getting into the left lane to turn left.

After a few seconds of talk between the drivers, we are informed that we must unboard and go across the street and wait at the stop at the corner of Cortland for the next bus.

If you want to see or hear a group of unhappy riders, i got a front row seat.  Me being one of them too, but, knowing how cursed i was doomed to be before the day even started, I felt almost responsible for all of these people being within the destructive radius of my jinxed luck of the day.  It must have been my doing!  It just doesnt take an hour and 4 busses to make it 8 blocks these days with MUNI. (in the 1990′s especially the early part, this would not have been too unusual).

Finally about 8 minutes and the 4th bus arrived and safely carried up the big ass hill to my final assend to my home.

I made it home finally and just started cracking up.  It was so bad of a day that it was humorous.  But just the little stupid things.  The big stressful things that went wrong got sorted out well.  It took a long time but things went better than expected when it comes to the shit that could have unraveled my life in the span of an afternoon.  It was this that was being worked on and could have gone either way.  I got really Really lucky!

Probably because of this, i took all the hilarious fails with a breath and patience and made it home FINALLY in one whole piece!  What a day!

I think today was doomed before it started. Let me just tell you…. Part 1.

I didn’t stand a chance today.  What a pain in the ass!  It started with my crazy little cat chasing flies or just going crazy and knocking over an open bottle and another glass onto my bed getting the covers soaking wet.

Then i proceded to go to the bathroom to find the toilet clogged.

I then proceeded to attempt to get online to no avail.  An hour and a half of unplugging and replugging and restarting.  Finally i called them and it turns out i need to pay them!  Go figure!

Which leads me to money.  I receive a direct deposit on the 1st every month and guess what… Today… not in account.

Which then proceeded to totally reconfigure my entire day.  Spent it on the phone for a couple of hours (at least 1/3 on hold) and in the office for over 3 hours.  About an hour and a half on bus riding not counting the MUNI comical nightmare that awaited me shortly.

I am so tired from this day, i am going to finish the other half of “how my bad day was so bad that it was starting to get funny to me”, tomorrow morning.  It will be cleaner and more witty if i finish after a little sleep.  So… stay tuned.  Part 2 will NOT disappoint i promise!  AND it will contain some of the photos of my misadventure.

I am hoping that when i wake up and finish up sharing with you my cosmic curse, i really hope it was like a 24 hour bug and it is not another Groundhog Day!

To be continued….